This week, we talked with sex wellness educator Amanda Saviñon for our “We Love The Way You Love” series. The goal of this series is to encourage our community to think about and share real love stories – the moments behind the moments, all the sweet, quirky and sometimes messy moments that show us how love is always present. Read more Q&As from this series here.
When did the word ‘love’ become real to you?
In The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck defines love as “the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth...Love is as love does.”
It is this definition that made the word ‘love’ real to me. Before this, love was this mysterious, undefinable thing that I sometimes confused with cathexis, and sometimes associated with possession, abuse, or blind obedience.
When I began to study love, it was this definition that picked it up and held it to the light to be seen fully for what it is and what it is not. This made it easier for me to show up for love, create moments of love in my life, and to show love to myself and others.
How do you create moments of love in your life?
I live by a love ethic and try to put love into every little thing that I do. This isn’t always easy, but I find that I am living consciously, and showing myself love seems to create moments of love in my life by default.
Being in the moment, fully present, fully listening to others, and responding with encouragement when I hear doubt is my way of nurturing another’s spiritual growth — creating moments of love. Giving love to others inspires them to give love so that one moment quickly becomes a series of loving moments.
I am also very lucky to create moments of love in the work that I do. As a sexual wellness educator and coach, I help others explore their sexuality, build their confidence, and better communicate their needs. This clears a pathway for more moments of love with themselves and others. When we are our most authentic, confident selves, when our love tanks are full we create moments of love with our very auras.
How do you show yourself love?
There are so many ways that I show myself love, whether it be writing positive affirmations and compliments on my mirrors, eating healthy foods, practicing self-awareness, or taking action towards being the best version of myself.
But one of my favorite ways of showing myself love is through intimacy. There was a day I realized that I didn’t have to wait on another person to do these beautiful romantic things for me — I can do them for myself, so I do. I’ll light candles, wear something sexy, fill the bathtub with rose petals, turn on music that tugs at my core, admire myself in the mirror, touch myself, masturbate, and fully melt into the moment that I’ve created just for me.