by Good Clean Love Staff March 17, 2016
This month, we celebrate both Women’s History Month and International Women’s Day. Both of these events have gotten me thinking an awful lot about the power of female friendship. Historically, amazing things have happened when women banded together in friendship to make a change. Just think of the national suffragette movement or the powerful groups of women trying to make equality for the sexes a real thing. On TV, I deeply love the friendships of Abby and Olivia on Scandal and Cece and Jess on New Girl. While they’re all very different, the four characters have one thing in common — their friendships remain despite the ups and downs of the storyline. In my own life, I’ve come to appreciate my female friendships deeply, but it took me a long time to get here.
When I was younger, I struggled a lot in the friendship department. Because my own self esteem was so low, I tended to attract friendships that were harmful, competitive, and that tended to reflect my own feelings about myself. I was constantly feeling left out, like I was wanting, and eventually I just gave up and started to tell myself the dangerous narrative that “I’m just not a female friend person,” effectively writing off the possibility of achieving the kind of friendship I craved.
In the end, I think it was the lasting relationship with a high school friend (the only one that remained in my life after those challenging four years) that changed my story. My friendship with A. hasn’t always been easy, but there’s a simplicity in being with her that has allowed for the ebbs and flows of time to make its changes but leave the friendship intact.
In a culture that largely pits women against each other, building female friendships that allow both participants to be their authentic selves without fear of being judged is a radical act. On social media, there’s the #hashtagwars like #realwomenhavecurves or #fitgirlproblems… In magazines, there’s the favoritism of one female body type over another. In female friendship circles, we still allow one another to call another girl a slut or a whore behind her back, which is neither loving nor acceptable. Just recently, I told someone close to me to not call another woman a slut because then it gave men permission to call us those names.
And indeed, on the journey to finding the friendships we all crave, there are bound to be some mismatches. Just like how we all must learn to authentically love ourselves in order to enjoy romantic love, we must also be able to recognize the signs that a friendship is bringing us down more than it’s lifting us up. Oftentimes, these chains are hard to break, but they’re essential to make the space for the friendships that are truly going to fill you up in life.
Unfortunately, it seems harder than ever to make those kinds of friendships in everyday adult life. The majority of friendships in American society are situational — predicated on an activity that you do together on a regular basis — and likely to end when that situation passes. Think of your work friend from a past job — you thought you were so close but then, when one of you got a new job, that friend disappeared from your life. Or what about your best friends from school? You talked about being friends always only to find that three months after graduation, you never talked any more.
Facebook feeds can be littered with these types of friends: people you knew at one point in your life, whom you merely follow peripherally, liking photos of weddings you weren’t invited to and babies you’ll never see in person. It’s easy to pretend at friendship online, but not so easy in real life. However, it’s worth every bit of effort, because real friendships, with friends you actually see, who have babies you actually play with, are so much more fulfilling.
The thing about friendship is that it’s more similar to dating than we first thing. Movies and TV make it seem so easy, but there’s a certain combination of compatibility, hard work (re: the placement of value) and luck on the friendships that seem to sustain over time. However hopeless it may seem if you’re feeling rather friendless, it’s worth repeating that when these friendships work, they are some of the most fulfilling relationships out there. Several medical studies have come out linking friendship to things like longer life expectancy, better brain health, and many other benefits.
But how do you go about finding good friends? Besides being open to various opportunities to meet potential friends, knowing yourself is a pretty good start. When you start off being your own best friend, you’re in a better place to be able to objectively seek out the types of friendships you want to nurture.
When women reach out to one another in friendship, amazing things happen. Recently I watched two iconic female friends, Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin, on a TED Talk about female friendship and I got a bit teary-eyed. In that moment, I thought about my close female friends (both in my family and otherwise) and was so grateful for all the ways in which they’ve touched my life (and still do). We gain a lot more by banding together than by remaining apart.
by Belita Budde December 14, 2017
Good Clean Love has long been an advocate for the use of healthy ingredientsin consumer products. We know how far-reaching the dangers of toxic chemicals are, and the serious effects they can have on a person’s long-term health and well-being. That’s why we were thrilled to discover that our friends at Keep A Breast Foundation were launching a new effort to educate consumers: a movement they call...
by Good Clean Love Staff October 26, 2017
Have you ever started a new birth control, and then noticed that things started feeling a little…off? Turns out, you aren’t the only one! More women are noticing vaginal dryness as a result of their birth control regimen. Don’t worry, though – there are plenty of things you can do to start feeling better.
Although vaginal dryness is most commonly...
by Good Clean Love Staff September 15, 2017
Here at Good Clean Love, our mission is to increase the quantity and quality of loving relationships on the planet. That’s why we only use the safest and most natural ingredients in all our products, and strive to educate young adults about equal pleasure.
So, we were pretty happy to see Drug Store Newsspreading the word about our recently expanded distribution. We’ve added our natural intimacy...
Good Clean Love’s Mission ...
is to increase the awareness and experience of love in the world. Our business offers all-natural, organic feminine hygiene and premium intimacy products to enhance your ability to enjoy the passionate side of life.
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