According to recent research American heterosexual sex lasts only 7.3 minutes on average. What is the rush, people? If we compare sex to dining, Americans are the sexual equivalent of a fast food joint- an ‘In-N-Out’, if you will.
Sex, like food, is supposed to be savored. It should be a four course meal. You don’t just walk into a fancy restaurant and demand your main course. You take your time. Why is that only 29% of women report always reaching orgasm during sex compared to that of 75% of men? This could have to do with the duration of sex. It makes sense that less women report reaching orgasm if it takes someone with a vulva 10-20 minutes to reach orgasm on average, versus that of a someone with a penis (For people with penises the average time between first penetration and orgasm is two and three minutes).
If you compare the average duration of sex and the differences in our respective orgasm times, someone is clearly getting the good end of the deal here and it is not those who posses a vulva.
This could be explained by the general lack of education regarding the clitoris in America, or the male-centric ideas of sexual pleasure which have dominated our society forever, but slowing down sex could be the answer to many of our socio-cultural gender disparities. We at Good Clean Love believe in equal pleasure, the concept that sex should be equally satisfying for all individuals involved. In this case, equal pleasure means taking your time. And guess what? Slowing down your sex life: being more intimate, lengthening foreplay, varying your sexual positions, playing with toys and lube… it ameliorates the experience for everyone involved! Unsurprisingly, egality among individuals is conducive to more positive, fulfilling and functional relationships. In almost every study, both men and women report wishing their sex lasted longer. Contrary to harmful stigmas, women can enjoy sex just as much men and men crave romantic attention just as much as women.
Slow sex, like slow food, could be a part of the movement towards a longer lasting, more sustainable, holistic approach to living life. Thinking of sex as more of an experience and less of an act is crucial in comprehending sensuality and sexuality. So let’s take a little lesson from the tortoise and the hare and turn this fast-food sex into a fine dining experience.
Read about our 6 Tricks To Slow Down Sex here.