by Anastasia Strgar
I’ve never really had a long-distance relationship… Sure, I was penpals with a guy stationed in Iraq, but I’d never actually met the guy, so I’m not incredibly skilled at the phone sex/sexting thing. I can imagine that one of the hardest parts about a long distance relationship is the lack of physical intimacy, which is why so many long distance couples revert to phone sex.
I for one, can count on one hand the times I’ve had to use that old fashioned mechanism, and I have to admit that the thought of moaning into the phone at first seems slightly weird- even weirder than sexting, which in itself, is weird. Once you get started though, phone sex can be kind of fun and naughty, not to mention something you can add to your sexual arsenal. If you’ve never had phone sex before, are caught in a long distance relationship or are on separate vacations, try it! No excuse is a bad one. To get you started, here are a few tips about how to make things a bit more comfortable.
Phone Foreplay: This is very important. In the past when I’ve had phone dates, I always get some sexy texts sent beforehand to get us thinking about it and in the mood. I know sexting has gotten a bad rap but in this situation I’d only apply it to sexting with strangers or handsome acquaintances. If it’s you and your intimate, committed partner, it’s fun and safe but also kind of makes you feel young and flirty again.
Tell a Story: In 3D sex you have to of go out of your way to really put yourselves in a story- costumes, different locales and props all can get expensive and sometimes are just plain inconvenient. However, when it’s just you on one end of the line and your partner on the other, you can play out any fantasy you want- just make sure you’re in agreement… It could be awkward if one of you is telling a story about a secluded glade and another one of you is putting you two on a mountain.
Close Your Eyes: The beginning of the conversation is always the most awkward since you’ve realized you’re actually doing this but your partner isn’t actually there. So close your eyes and imagine being in the story that you two have created. If needed, light some candles and play some mood music to make it that much more realistic.
Pleasure Yourself: So your partner’s not there, but this is a great time to try masturbating! If you’re not super comfortable with it, just allow your fingers to explore and see what feels good to you. Listening to your partner talk dirty to you is one of the best aphrodisiacs- and much easier than looking at magazines or having to do all the imaginative work yourself.
So as you can see, phone sex definitely has its upsides, although it of course can’t compete with the real thing. However, it leaves you with a lot of things to talk about and maybe even experiment with in your 3D sexual encounters. Let your imagination run wild!
Anastasia Strgar, a recent graduate from the University of Oregon with a B.A in journalism, has been writing about love and relationships for several years. She has written short stories and romance novels, penned the love and sex column in the school newspaper and wrote several blogs. As the eldest of founder Wendy Strgar’s four children, she has been inspired by watching her parents’ marriage and strives to put those lessons to use in her own relationship. She believes that teaching her peers early on about how to maintain healthy relationships is essential to creating a future generation of loving partnerships. She currently works as the Director of Public Relations and Magazine Editor at Good Clean Love.