by Wendy Strgar January 09, 2011
On my way home from the adult entertainment trade show, my positivity was not only intact, but improved. I haven’t attended this tradeshow in the last five years, focusing my marketing efforts on educating the natural and medical markets about the importance of healthy and clean intimacy products, as well as clarifying the steps for a healthy libido to thrive.
Five years ago, before all the free view internet pornography consumed the viability of so many small porn houses the show was huge and driven largely by the small adult video shops and their consumers. This year, it was a totally new scene. I was one of many high end, quality conscious manufacturers who are providing tasteful and progressive solutions to a definitively more evolved, couple-oriented adult experience.
Beyond my new market appeal, which by itself was a lovely and positive surprise, was my own clarity and perception. The truth about positivity is that it begets itself. Moments when I felt my attitude slipping, I was paying attention, and rather than spin some story about the girls clad in g-strings or whips cracking, I made a quick list of gratitude. Here I was five years later, true to my vision and offering it on my own terms.
Actually gratitude is another trait that can be easily cultivated with practice and changes the moment decisively. It is a guaranteed release from the common cognitive traps that prevent many of us from accurate perceptions of our own happiness. The moments when I confused my memories of the adult industry with my current experience were clarified with easy-to-find reasons for gratitude. Other people’s adult preferences were no longer a threat to my own.
In fact, in most of the conversations that I had with long time industry professionals, whether performers, store owners or industry distributors, what was clear was that we are all trying to make meaning of how we live, or at least in retrospect are now conscious of how that needs to be the goal. Failed relationships were part of many of these conversations and many performers admitted that their professions limit their options for a committed relationship. A few mentioned they were considering leaving the business for that reason.
Indeed, strong and healthy personal relationships are one of the most significant predictors of self-perceived happiness. Developing stronger relationships benefits from many of the same good habits which positive thinking demands is essential to one’s overall happiness. Although it isn’t always fun to vigilantly monitor how we think or deliberately improve our communication skills, the effort pays for itself through its results.
The Adult industry is changing and the consensus is building; we all want more Good Clean Love to define our days. Why not having it sitting by the bedside table, too.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018
by Wendy Strgar April 26, 2018