by Wendy Strgar August 07, 2017
Our sense of smell is ancient and the source of our most powerful emotional memories. It is also the primal sensory pathway to sexual attraction. And yet, we often give little attention to all that our sense of smell can evoke- in part because we have so little vocabulary for scent- often limited to “it smells like…” and delineated only between pleasant and unpleasant. But the truth is that the world of scent cognition that so often goes unrecognized actually colors all of our interactions, and especially our most intimate moments. And there is no better place to expand your scent vocabulary but in the context of a kiss.
Discovering the power of scented kisses in fact, was how Good Clean Love was born- it began when I found a random bottle of love oil in a small gift shop one sunny summer afternoon. Although back then, I couldn’t have told you a thing about the profound science of olfaction or even understood how the subtle scents of love oil could wake up aspects of my libido that I forgot I had. One thing was unmistakable- our previously perfunctory kissing quickly evolved into a intimate conversation that inspired and shifted our sex life into a entirely new and passionate affair.
Although I couldn’t have anticipated how this marriage of scent and kissing would transform our intimate connection and our marriage- it isn’t that surprising when you consider that kissing is among the most ancient and sacred forms of communication that humans have shared since the dawn of time. And it is a form of communication that we are built for- our lips have both the slimmest layer of skin on the body and are among the most densely populated with sensory neurons of any bodily region, even more so than our fingertips or genitalia. No wonder that combining these two primal forces is a game changer: layering the power of the kiss, which by itself releases a cascade of neural connections, and initiating intense euphoric sensations with the power of scent opens up the internal pathway to sexual potential.
Kissing consumes the present moment and saturates our senses with the fullness of each other. Adding scent deepens that presence with both depth and texture that makes a kiss unforgettable. Approaching a kiss with this in mind, consider how you can employ scent with not only the lips, but with breath and tongue. Breathing in your lover is something that happens naturally while we kiss, especially with an open mouth, but adding the subtle layers of love oil into the air that you share in loving moments adds a certain spark and intrigue. Increase sexual arousal by experimenting with different kinds of breath- breathing in through your nose while kissing creates space that invites your partner forward and slows down the seconds of intimate connection. Although a racing heart and gasping for air is not uncommon when kissing gets intense, it should be treated like the crescendo of a beautiful piece of music.
Learning the subtle art of kissing as a form of the most passionate communication is all about intention.
Even the most technically skilled kissers fall short when the kiss is insincere. The real secret is this: approaching the kiss with an open mouth. Another tip for kissing is to experiment with softening your lips even for a short kiss and see how that changes the dynamics of kissing. Hard kisses with tight lips can be overwhelming even in the midst of serious passion. Soft, open-mouth kisses invite your partner into a dialogue, which is the goal. Feel for response. Open-mouthed kissing can teach you a lot about opening to relationships: about how to avoid forcing things, as well as giving both partners the opportunity to be active participants choosing their unspoken words. Discovering this remarkable art of kissing takes time. The patient kisser takes the time to experiment and demonstrate their sensitivity and understanding.
Developing the artistic capacity to communicate without words will not only enhance the physical intimacy that you share, but you will be surprised at how much safer and more open your verbal conversations will become.
Bringing the power of scent to this dialogue will level up the sensuality, engage your arousal mechanism and make your kisses unforgettable. And aphrodisiac oils come in 10mL rollerballs- perfect for application to the lips.
Stay tuned for more tips for kissing from Wendy, here a Good Clean Love.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018
by Wendy Strgar April 26, 2018