4 Ways To Turn On Arousal
January 27, 2017
‘I tell you, the more I think, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.’ Vincent Van Gogh
The arousal response is your body’s natural mechanism for accessing pleasure. Although often confused with the genital swelling that accompanies our arousal response, the ignition for our arousal lives in the sexiest organ of our body- our brain.
Specifically, in the...
Seeking True Pleasure
January 06, 2017
“Pleasure is the object, duty and the goal of all rational creatures.” -Voltaire
The New Year is a good time to re-think our ideas about pleasure. In our culture, so focused on instant gratification, it is easy to lose sight of what creates a long-lasting and deeply healing experience of pleasure. While instant gratification does feed our brains a dopamine response to constantly want more, the...
“Let Happiness Search for You”
March 30, 2016
The title of this post is from an essay by Sparrow, a poet. I love this essay because I think it captures so well how important small, private moments of joy are to our ability to be human. In my experience, searching for big happiness brings more disappointment than pleasure — those searches blind me to the small, beautiful things around me, like the flowers of muscari that are almost the same...
Pain Reinvented – The Habits of Feeling
January 22, 2016
“Most people have no idea how good their body is designed to feel.” -Kevin Trudeau
I couldn’t sleep on my right side anymore. In yoga my right knee couldn’t do yoga poses anymore. I tried therapies of all kinds, I bought a new mattress… no relief. Finally I went to a physical therapist and was diagnosed with gluteal amnesia, which is apparently a common syndrome, in which the muscles of the butt...
Relaxing: the “Big Lebowski” Approach
May 21, 2015
It’s difficult to relax on the Internet, especially social media — Twitter and Facebook are like open mics where everyone is simultaneously speaking their opinions about everything, all the time. The pressure to have an opinion and to share it in new, cleverer and louder ways can be quickly exhausting. I find myself forgetting what I really care about, losing track of my own feelings, and becoming...
Positivity Reinvents Us: Health Is Everything
January 15, 2013
My stomach was so upset last night it wouldn’t rest. So it went with the rest of me. Food feels like a foreign substance, and even my beloved juice doesn’t quite taste right. Now it is time to learn what my belly has been grumbling and burping about for so long. Why is it that we learn to live with our discomfort so well that it takes a near emergency to get us to pay attention?
I know this-...
A Beautiful Urge
July 06, 2012
“In every man’s heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.” -Christopher Morley
Beauty is one of the essential graces of living a human life on earth. Beauty is around us everywhere and entraining our own capacity to notice and recognize its presence and its power to transform us begins in our heart. Culturally, we are constantly being mis-directed to a specific, and...
Intimate Gratitude
November 23, 2011
“Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it’s the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it’s almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you’re a part of them.” -Unknown
There is not another single human act that so fully embodies gratitude at its peak as the moments of profound lovemaking. This is where we know most...
Grateful Body
November 18, 2011
“It’s also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that’s sitting right here, right now… with its aches and its pleasure is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, and fully alive.” -Pema Chodron
One of my favorite movie scenes comes from the old Wim Wenders’ film “Wings of Desire” when Peter Falk is speaking to the air, to an angel he senses next to him. He bubbles...
Cultivating Arousal
October 14, 2011
“Orgasm is what happens when the body takes over.” -Betty Dodson
Our orgasmic potential begins with our capacity and curiosity to explore our arousal mechanism. Recent studies have actually demonstrated that working with your physical arousal response can actually instigate sexual desire, rather than the reverse of waiting for desire to jumpstart arousal. This is heartening news because tapping...
The Strength in Real Communication
September 16, 2011
Relationship Bootcamp: Week 3
Relationship Bootcamp: Week 3
“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t being said.” –Anonymous
The strength and endurance training in any and all relationships starts and ends with the capacity for communication. I have often called our communication skills the currency of a relationship, because it is literally the air that lives between people that makes their...
The Sound of Pleasure
February 04, 2011
By Wendy Strgar
“How silver-sweet sound lovers’ tongues by night,
Like softest music to attending ears!” -William Shakespeare
Remember the hushed make-out sessions of your youth? Rarely did we allow ourselves to sound out our pleasure lest our parents would hear. For many of us, not wanting others to hear any evidence of our intimate encounters still carries some left over shame that keeps a heavy...
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