Here’s the thing about people, even those we love: They are annoying. I tell people this regularly and they laugh; sometimes a nervous laugh, but more often a knowing laugh. We laugh together out of relief, too. It’s not just you or me. Let's face it, collectively we are all pretty annoying. 

We all find ourselves in one of two buckets right now. Either separated from people we love and can't see them or with the people we love in a non-stop way that we usually reserve for holidays or weekends.Either way, this unprecedented time is testing our ability to show up for each other and forcing us all to reconsider what it takes to sustain the fragile and essential fabric of relationships that we so often take for granted. 

One of the most important attributes of our humanity is that we crave a sense of fairness and equality the way we do food or sleep. More than just an aspirational concept of governance, like “by the people, for the people”, all of our relationships thrive within the honest intentionality of creating equity between people. It is part of our DNA as we all recognize the plaintive cry of a child’s “it's’ not fair.”

The term “go with the flow” is not new. In fact, it was first alluded to by Shakespeare over 400 years ago – and for good reason. Going with the flow of life is one of the most effective ways to create a more relaxed relationship to the events and people surrounding you, while also making you more resilient and adaptable to the ever-present unpredictable nature of life. 

Let’s be honest. As much as you try to communicate with your partner about your wishes and desires in the bedroom (and in all other aspects of your life), relationships can be hard. Sometimes, when you’ve been with each other for a long time or you have some extraneous events going on, it can be hard to know where your partner stands. 

I have been working at the crossroads of gratitude and sex for most of my adult life. As the years pile on in my marriage, I am not only astounded by the longevity of my intimate life, but literally weep with gratitude for every moment I get with my husband. 

One of the most common problems that bring long-term couples into therapy is that of initiating intimacy. According to Rachel Sussman, a marriage counselor in New York City, one of the most common reasons that couples come to couples therapy is differing sex drives and opinions on how to initiate sex.

One of the most significant gaps between genders when it comes to love and sex is the truism that male energy opens to love through sexual connection and female energy is more apt to need love to ignite its sexuality. I remember well a conversation I had with another mother at the playground years...

A long holiday weekend is a great time to consider staying in to create your own fireworks. As much as sexuality floods the media, many couples are hard pressed to find the time and attention that a healthy and vital intimate life demands. 

Most of what matters and gets better in life happens through education. Yet remarkably, when it comes to sex, many people were not only deprived sexual education in their youth but have carried the “ignorance is bliss” approach way too long into adulthood. In fact, when it comes to cultivating and sustaining an erotic life, persisting in not knowing may well be the kiss of death. 

Studies support the strong correlation between a happy relationship and the frequency of sex. Sexual intimacy acts as the glue in long-term relationships, like pouring cement into a foundation inspiring a deep union that paves the way for more emotional closeness and richer communication.

Evolve your thinking. Your thoughts are the blueprint for your life and control your relationship in many ways you may not recognize. Be confident that your partner knows what you are thinking, even when you don’t say it. We often take ourselves and our relationships for granted, or conversely, take it all too seriously. Our negative thoughts unwittingly hold our relationships hostage, giving a lot of power to our unspoken doubts.