February 21, 2019
Our sense of smell is ancient and the source of our most powerful emotional memories. It is also the primal sensory pathway to sexual attraction. And yet, we often give little attention to all that our sense of smell can evoke, in part because we have so little vocabulary for scent. Often we're limited to “it smells like…” and delineated only between pleasant and unpleasant.
May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
April 26, 2018
Most of us don’t realize how frequently we are checked out of our life. We struggle to stay present in the day-to-day with the never-ending onslaught of digital feeds and new devices that offer superficial connectivity at best, but we lose out on the true contact that feeds our soul and makes us human. More and more scientific research is showing how much we give up when we trade the voyeurism of social media for the real-time relating that makes us feel seen and heard. Even more disturbing is how we are losing the muscle memory to do the messy and gratifying work of truly showing up, risking our heart, and communicating. It is in the trenches of our life, in the mess of people’s feelings spilling over onto us that we are really connected and that we can offer our best self. Start today with one of these tips and see how different life can feel when you fully show up!
April 19, 2018
February 14, 2018
January 30, 2018
January 23, 2018
The awakening is real. The time of concealment is over. And it's not just all those pussy hats making the rounds during the 2nd National Women’s March, or the unprecedented number of women running for office, or the relentless outing of formerly powerful men who used their positions to sexually violate others. The real news is how the conversation is being extended to discuss what has heretofore been off limits...
December 08, 2017
With the holiday season upon us, it is a great time to re-think your gift-giving rituals. Instead of trying to find the perfect present, find simple ways to bring your full presence to those you love- truly, the most generous thing we can offer anyone is our undivided attention. Being thoughtful and deliberate about how you...
December 05, 2017
Understanding what it means to have a sexually healthy life is a question that most people face throughout their life and relationship cycles, and for good reason. Human sexuality is among the most powerful and mysterious aspects of our personality. Without learning a basic vocabulary to describe what motivates and...
November 28, 2017
I spent five years writing a book about how to make sex work in your life, but pretty much since its publication, almost all of the conversations I have are about the sex that permeates our lives that doesn’twork. The unfolding revelations about rampant sexual abuses began with the brave and bold and...
November 16, 2017
I once had a friend who for many years taught me volumes about gratitude, while also teaching me quite a bit about my own capacity for envy. At first glance, it may have been her inherited wealthy lifestyle or seemingly effortless marriage, or her devoted relationships with her loving mother and sister… There...
November 14, 2017
What remains unsaid in us remains alive. It is the trauma that we cannot acknowledge that burrows deeper inward, sapping our ability to trust ourselves as well as our capacity to connect to others. And among the traumas we experience, sexual abuses are one of the most potent in the ways that it imprints on our memory. This is why Beverly...