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First Porn in Space
Pornhub, the largest online porn site, wants to be the first to make porn in space, and they’re crowdfunding $3.4 million from Indiegogo to pay for it.
On their Indiegogo page they write,
One way or another, there are many elements about life in space that need careful consideration and research…especially sex. As such, Pornhub is teaming up with top ranking adult studio Digital Playground in...
Ask Him Anything: Should I be worried about him watching porn while he masturbates?
I get that it’s normal for guys to masturbate, but is it normal for him to be watching porn while he does it? Should I be worried? -Worried Wife
Dear Worried Wife,
I’m glad you realize that it’s normal for guys to masturbate, because it is. In fact, as a guy, I’d say that the one thing that unites us is the fact that we pretty much all masturbate. While the number of timesduring a day may differ...
Marriage and Pornography
Question:
Thanks for your informative site. I am curious about what advice you give married couples about the use of pornography in erotic stimulation. What issues do you think are important to cover with giving advice to couples? What are your thoughts on pornography addiction and its affects on marriage?
Answer:
Great questions. First, one of the most important things to remember about porn...
Pornography- Addiction or Civil Right?
The headline of the Eugene Register Guard today was “Battling Porn from the Pulpit“. The story was actually three stories on the many faces of pornography. The numbers are impressive no matter what side you are on… Every second $3,075 is being spent on pornography by over 28,000 users on the internet- yes, that was every second. There are over 4.2 million porn websites which makes up 12% of all...
How to Transform An Ocean of Pornography
“Perhaps if we weren’t still so consumed with guilt and shame about sex, neither watching nor performing in these films would carry the weight it does…” -Candida Royalle
Pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry whose content consumes as much as 20% of internet traffic. As entertainment goes, its revenue beats out all forms of professional sports combined. It is a behemoth industry that...
An Introduction to Feminist Pornography with Candida Royalle
Listen to the director’s side of feminist pornography with Candida Royalle, founder of Femme Productions and pioneer of feminist erotica produced by and for women and couples. In addition to hearing about the best of her 18 films which she wrote, directed and produced, we also talk about her inspiration and experience that was behind her book How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do: Sex Advice From a...
The Aging of Naughty
A recent article (December 31st) in the New York Times titled “The Graying of Naughty” chronicles the entry of several older women, i.e. 40-50, into the pornography business. Yes, even the porn industry is responding to the aging baby boomer population, offering all kinds of stories that include older women and younger men, apparently an easily marketable niche.
The upside of the story is that...
No Moans About It
by Tinamarie Bernard
When I read a recent blog by Nicole Daedone, founder of OneTaste.com, I had two immediate questions: Are that many women really putting on moan shows when they are having sex, and if so, why?
Here’s what Nicole had to say about faking orgasmic pleasure, which basically, “amounts to lying to your partner. It prioritizes thinking (I should be doing this, I wonder how he’s...
Sex Today
Well, it made it to the front page of most newspapers again today, the governor of New York was caught in a sting of an elite, top priced prostitute ring. On the day before Valentine’s Day, no less. His career in a shambles, “Mr Clean” as he was referred to for his corruption fighting administration has fallen among the rest of us mortals. It probably won’t be the end of his career, I mean after...
This Week’s Recommended Reads, Vol. 2
We get it. The work week is a busy time, full of meetings, reports to write, kids to pick up and dinners to make. Sometimes casual reading doesn’t exactly make it to the to-do list. So, in case you missed what’s going on around the world (online that is) check out our newest feature, Weekly Recommended Reads. Featuring the finest articles on love, sex, relationships and related topics, as well as...
Betty
“Masturbation is our first and natural form of sexual activity and if that’s inhibited or damaged, then we suffer for the rest of our lives.” -Betty Dodson
I had met Betty several times over the years while building my business. She is an icon among the sex therapist crowd, and even in much mainstream media her name and work over the last four decades is synonymous with the feminist sexual...
The Opening Door – Show 020: Wendy Maltz, LCSW, DST
Tapping into the power of sexual fantasies is a doorway to our deepest selves, where profound healing can be met with ecstatic play. Don’t miss this riveting conversation with Wendy Maltz, author and well know sexual healing therapist on how to understand your fantasies and listen for your deepest longings. She shows how this process of listening and honoring your own true erotic nature can serve...
Zero Tolerance for Sexual Health
“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” Evelyn Beatrice Hall
Last night I had a book reading for Sex that Works. It was a small gathering as it is really hard to get people out of their cozy homes on a rainy Sundayevening. But inviting people who know me through social media isn’t an option to get the word out either – Facebook’s Zero Tolerance policy...
What Happened to Miley?
Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. ~Victor Hugo
Like millions of other young girls in this country, my daughters were raised with the Disney girls. My eldest was a long-time fan of both Lindsay Lohan and Hillary Duff and witnessed with disbelief as their girl-next-door appearances slipped into sex symbol and their lives slipped out of control in...
Healing From Sexual Abuse with Wendy Maltz, LCWS, DST
Sexual abuse affects millions of people, often without them ever recognizing it as the core of their sexual dysfunction issues. Internationally recognized expert and author Wendy shares her decades of experience and insights into the healing journey that millions of sexual survivors have taken. Her classic book in its 3rd printing The Sexual Healing Journey: a Guide for Survivors of Sexual...
Sustainable Love
Recently, after I reviewed another book on greening the fashion world, the publisher sent me a note saying that she had seen my site and was going send me another new book she thought I would be interested in: Sex Secrets of Porn Stars.
I wondered if she had actually read anything on my site.
After years of attending the big Vegas “Sex Shows,” it had become increasingly clear that my corporate...
What is Healthy Sex in Marriage?
Question:
My question is pretty vague! What does it look like to have a healthy sex life in marriage?
The background to my question is: My husband of 18 years is working on getting over a pornography addiction. I have some sexual abuse issues from childhood. So we are both messed up. Initially when we married I tried to be fun and sexy and would not get much response so I often felt rejected. He’d...
Life That Works: A Positive Adult Experience
On my way home from the adult entertainment trade show, my positivity was not only intact, but improved. I haven’t attended this tradeshow in the last five years, focusing my marketing efforts on educating the natural and medical markets about the importance of healthy and clean intimacy products, as well as clarifying the steps for a healthy libido to thrive.
Five years ago, before all the free...
Gratitude in Unexpected Connection
“Join me in the pure atmosphere of gratitude for life.” -Hafiz
I was an exhibitor at a national tradeshow for adult novelty this weekend. My work in sexual health and building the Good Clean Love brand has been more in the natural product industry and in medical circles where just uttering the words oral and sex together was sometimes looked on with suspicion. I have only recently been finding a...
Ask the Loveologist: Losing Our Sexual Connection
I am 32, loving wife, mother of one gorgeous boy and 12 weeks pregnant. I’m desperate because I feel so incredibly sad that I’m struggling to be interested in sex the way I used to be – and I think my husband is the same. This has been an ongoing and increasingly pressing issue even before our son was born. My orgasm has slowly become less and less intense and harder to achieve and quite frankly...
Curiosity 101: 3 Ways Sex Education Is Broken – And What Fixing It Could Accomplish
Nelson Mandela might not have been talking about sex when he said “Education is the most powerful weapon you can use to change the world.” Yet, there may be no place in the human psyche that this is more true.
Angels in Disguise
“Nobody’s perfect. We’re all just one step up from the beasts and one step down from the angels.”- Jeannette Walls
Years ago at one of the last adult shows I attended my Good Clean Love booth was next to the Angels, Buck the Transman porn star and his wife Elaine author of the Piercing Bible. At first glance, this couple who was literally covered from head to toe in tattoos and piercings...
Fantastic Imaginings
I often tell people that the sexiest part of their body is their brain. Usually I am trying to get them to understand the connection between their olfactory system and the limbic part of the brain where memory, emotion and sexuality are...
Revolutionizing Education
“What if our kids really believed we wanted them to have great sex…What if they really believed that we want them to be so passionately in love with someone that they can’t keep their hands off them? What if they really believed we want them to know their own bodies?” -Al Vernacchio
Taking Sex Education out of the dungeon that it has lived in over the last 30 years is an epic step towards...
Divine Intervention?
by Elizabeth Spannuth
I have a new age-type friend that loves to tell me what to do. It is always under the guise of love and “divine guidance,” but it still feels like it did when my older sister would boss me around as a kid. She speaks with such absolute authority that her opinion is the only valid one that sometimes I get swept up in it, just as I used to do with my older sister. Yes! Eating...
Defining “Adult”
by Anastasia Strgar
I think Britney Spears said it best when she said “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman.” At 23, I’m a bit loth to call myself either a girl or a woman, because I don’t quite feel like either. Thus, as I’m training in the archaic fashions of ladylike behavior, I deign to consider myself a lady. However, all this talk about appropriate titles of my current role in human development,...
Netflix’s "Easy": A Good Clean Love Take
It seems like every time I turn around this week, I have been hearing the word “easy”... from my phone which continues to light up with texts from old friends I haven’t heard from in years... “LOL, saw you on Easy...”, to the shipping guy at UPS, who suddenly recognizes our name on the boxes (“No way, I just saw this good clean lube ... on Easy, right?”)
The Mysterious O – Lifting the Mystery
‘Sex-positive, a term that’s coming into cultural awareness, isn’t a dippy love-child celebration of orgone � it’s a simple yet radical affirmation that we each grow our own passions on a different medium, that instead of having two or three or even half a dozen sexual orientations, we should be thinking in terms of millions.’ – Dr. Carol Queen
Orgasm is a product of a sexually healthy lifestyle...
Expecting Pleasure
“We erase female pleasure…it puts girls not only at a disadvantage in terms of having a satisfying sexual experience but also just having an equal relationship.” Peggy Orenstein
“He liked it. That’s enough for me.” Our mothers said it about sex, as did our grandmothers. And yet disturbingly, our thoroughly modern daughters whose evolution and potential has dramatically risen, with higher earning...
EASY: A Good Clean Love Take
“Only work on stuff you love … when I don’t, I fight with my wife a lot more, I’m snippy with my kid.” Joe Swanberg, creator of EASY
Seems like every time I turn around this week, I have been hearing the word “easy”… from my phone which continues to light up with texts from old friends I haven’t heard from in years, “LOL, saw you on easy…”, to the shipping guy at UPS- who suddenly recognizes our...
Curiosity 101: How an Open Mind Will Enrich Your Sexual Education
Imagine what life might look like if we all had a good, solid dose of comprehensive sex education. Imagine shame and guilt – the two constant companions of countless sex drives – replaced with open-minded curiosity and wonder.
4 Ways to Equal Pleasure
When we consider the efforts that women have made over generations for equality, it humbles you. Today while interviewing the president of Planned Parenthood of Southwestern Oregon, I learned that the early beginnings of the organization began with women sewing diaphragms that they procured in Italy and Japan into their petticoats. Many women were arrested when they were handing them out on the streets in New York.
Healing Through Sexual Fantasy
I don’t know why I get so turned on by the things I do, which are so weird I am not even going to say what they are. I have this same fantasies over and over again. In fact, I can’ t even get turned on at all when I block my mind from thinking of this fantasy. Then I just feel nothing. I am so embarrassed I would never tell my partner about it. What should I do?
Thanks for asking this...
Growing Up Sexually
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” – E.E. Cummings
I have been making love with the same man for some thirty years, and although I can honestly say it has gotten amazingly and increasingly better over the decades, it is important to add that this improvement was in direct proportion to the work and willingness we brought to growing up sexually. To be fair and honest, my...
Great Summer Reads to Wake up Your Sex Life
When I think of summer, I have this picture of long lazy days by the water, listening for the distant voices of my children while I wander off into a great book, quietly stepping into some new ways of thinking or sharing in the stories of life that change us just by hearing them. Ana Freud said “Sex is something we do, sexuality is who we are.” What better time than the brief interludes of warm...
Growing an Organic Orgasm
Most often, the term organic applies to our food. Sometimes it is there to certify fabrics or product ingredients. Rarely is it applied to our sexual appetite. To be called organic, the food must be produced without any chemicals to induce or sustain its...
The Conversations Which Shape A Healthful Sexuality
"…the nearly $2 billion spent on abstinence only education over the past quarter-century may as well have been set on fire…” Peggy Orenstein
Sexual health is a conversation that has been subverted for far too long. The conversations that we avoid and push underground become tainted with our own darkness and the longer that they remain out of reach, the more distorted they become. Sexual hygiene...
Creating a Culture of Consent
“A consent culture is a society that values and promotes consensual sex, condemns rape and supports survivors of sexual violence…” – Siobhan Donovan, Building a Consent Culture
Almost every interview request I get these days begins with questions about consent; both what it means to say yes to sexual contact and what happens when initial consent goes away. The first thing that I say in these...
Q&A with Dame Products: Closing the Pleasure Gap with Innovation
Just two years ago, Dame Products launched Eva, the first “truly wearable” couples’ vibrator. Featuring two flexible wings, the curious looking little vibe was designed to tuck under the labia. No hands, no hassle, just clitoral stimulation. Eight hundred thousand dollars later, Eva was the number one crowdfunded sex toy of all time. Surprised?
Pleasures of the Flesh
We all love to be loved. We long to be touched and our basic human drives towards physical pleasure is almost as strong as our drive to alleviate hunger or thirst. It may even be stronger, as it has been demonstrated that babies who are provided basic needs but are not touched and handled do not survive. It is central to our functioning and yet often in direct conflict with the relationships that...
Cyber Sex
by Dr. Tammy Nelson
Is it normal to find sex online? In our current technological culture we use cyber connections to create all of our relationships. We use the internet to manage our social lives, meet new people, and develop both emotional partnerships. Why wouldn’t we find sexual relationships online too?
Today the opportunity to use hand held devices, texting, IM’ing and email as ways to...
Bringing the Heat Back Home
I have been fascinated by sex workers since I learned that the most ostracizing act that prostitutes can commit is finding pleasure in the act. The world of sex workers is a huge underground mega structure that encompasses millions of lives. It makes more money than the entire 10 largest technology companies combined, (think Microsoft, Google, and Amazon). On the internet alone sex work and...
Pain and Pleasure
It is Valentine Day- our sanctioned holiday of love. Loaded with memories-both good and bad of longing and romance that make our lives what they are. It’s a good time to visit the Pain/Pleasure principle that informs sexual desire and romance as well.
There is an indescribable, yet palpable reality of sexual intimacy wherein the ecstatic release of deep pleasure balances and ignites an equal...
Naming the Feeling of Orgasm
What is an orgasm and what does it feel like? What happens when the body takes over in ecstatic release? How do we live in that body and conjure the moments that resemble a kind of grace that is bestowed? We know we didn’t make something happen so much as let something happen in us. Anais Nin once described her orgasm like this: “Electric flesh-arrows ... traversing the body. A rainbow of color strikes the eyelids. A foam of music falls over the ears….”
Day 23: Satisfied
“The pleasure of living and the pleasure of the orgasm are identical. Extreme orgasm anxiety forms the basis of the general fear of life.”
~ Wilhelm Reich
One great benefit of owning a love product company is that I get to study and teach about orgasm. I was blessed with a proclivity towards the experience and remember finding this unique release valve as a small child. Growing up, I only knew how...