Sex can be a lot of things. It can be fun, exciting, and intimate at its best. But just like any other good thing, there can be some hiccups along the way. Whether it is your first, third, or 100th time having sex, awkward moments are pretty inevitable, and it’s about time we start normalizing them.

October is a month of fun fall festivities, but did you know it is also National Kink Month? Although many people see kinks as a taboo subject, they are fairly popular in adult sex life. In one survey, nearly 50% of respondents expressed interest in kink, even if they hadn’t had the chance to explore it. Also, about one out of five adults (20%) regularly engage in role-playing and/or bondage and spanking.

Sex toys are more popular than ever before. The sex toy industry is booming, with 60 million toys sold every year. In recent years, the variety and innovation in the sex toy industry have significantly increased. 

During times of uncertainty and anxiety, we believe that leaning into your innate capacity for pleasure is healing and sustaining. With that in mind, we want to share our 2020 reader favorites on the best ways to enhance and deepen your capacity for pleasure. We feel confident that this reading list will not disappoint as you explore the most reliable steps to enhance your arousal and find a gateway to orgasm.

This is the textbook for what sex was made for. Centuries old, Tantric practices are part of a much larger Hindu/Vedic tradition of which sexuality is only part. The full practice is a life long spiritual quest which demonstrates the interconnectedness of everything and includes yoga, meditation, breath work as well as sexual techniques.

Some of my most vivid memories of my early sex life are not of the satisfying post coitus elated release, but the opposite. It is hard to forget the many years when sex was more a path of frustration than pleasure; when I was still figuring out how my body responded and why it often didn’t.

The orgasm gap is built into our different male and female physiology. Learning to awaken our arousal mechanism is a required first step for both men and women, and we often mistakenly believe that our genital response is where arousal begins. In truth, the sexiest part of our body is housed in the limbic brain, where memory, sexuality, and emotion awaken. The neurological circuitry for male arousal is more direct and faster than it is for women, and female arousal is a more interior process.

The place to begin in the mysterious journey to orgasm begins with a better understanding of our anatomy. For people with vaginas, the discovery of the complex and powerful organ system of the clitoris wasn’t revealed until 1998 when an Australian urologist, Helen O’Connell completed a series of MRI studies and named 18 different parts of the clitoral structure which previously had only been known as the external glans. It turns out that two-thirds of our sexual power is internal. I was close to 40 years old before I understood the connection between what was happening inside and outside my vagina in sex.