Good Clean Reads

I once read an analogy of human connection which described successful intimate bonds in terms of moisture. In this description they discussed how when your heart feels dry and brittle it is hard for it to bond to anyone else. Moisture happens in our heart when we allow ourselves to feel.

Certainly this metaphor can be extended without much imagination to the intimacy problems that exist for so...

Rejection of any kind can really ruin a day. For some people it can ruin a week or more. It happened to me today when I was terminated on a blogger site. Most rejections whether they happen in personal or work situations press the same buttons- they strike all the weak links in the personality we have built, stretching thin all the places of low self esteem which we patch over each time it...

Technology of OrgasmI have been studying the vibrator through history this weekend. A friend of a friend gave me the DVD she has been working on called “Passion and Power- The Technology of Orgasm”. A historian, Dr. Rachel Maines uncovered ads in old catalogs and magazines featuring the origins of this electrical appliance that beat out the iron and the electric skillet by ten years. Sears and Roebuck catalog featured them for some 40 years or more. Some had attachments for butter churning- talk about all-purpose. It wasn’t until the late 1920’s that the social camouflage was blown on these handy household devices when they began appearing in early pornography or blue movies as they were called.

Have you ever noticed the power of letting go? The freedom in surrender, when you give over your cravings and desires to how it is. Then suddenly the situation is different and possibilities that weren’t there a minute ago are opening up everywhere. I remember the hunger for a boyfriend that held me for years. A longing that filled me with sad songs and led me continuously to the wrong guys. I...

This is an ongoing decision/issue for me and my husband, and I think we are not alone. What to do with the exhaustion level that we often bring into our intimate interactions is a significant problem for a growing population. Giving up sex for sleep is a good idea when you are just too tired to imagine sex. But if this becomes the routine, then we lose the powerful source of vitality that comes...

“The best work is done with the heart breaking, or overflowing.”–M. McLaughlin

There are days, and well, sadly, sometimes weeks when there just simply isn’t enough energy, resources or time to take care of the relationships and people you should be loving the most. Careers and work goals, children and social commitments, inner work and incomplete personal transitions…on any given day, we work...

In a little clapboard farmhouse in New Bedford, NY, a dominatrix reigned. The website www.sovereignestate.com (the site is no longer up) described her activities “Situated on four private acres, in a century old stately manor, here life is devoted to female superiority, proper training and etiquette for the betterment of men.” Her alphabetical list of activities she enjoyed included blindfolds,...

It is the small things in life that teach us the most. Often it is the moments that we least recognize as remarkable that have the power to change our lives. Lately I am making a point of looking at the eyes, the facial expression of the people I am talking to. It is amazing how that changes what I hear. Maybe it even changes what they can say.

I am trying to remember my friend telling me how she...

I have been feeling like something has been broken inside for a couple of months now. For a while it showed itself in a variety of back and neck ailments, but lately it is more diffuse and more amorphous. Sometimes it is a physical sensation, but just as frequently it is a visceral experience of being overwhelmed and exhausted. The drive part of me is stalled.

In part at least, it is impossible...