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Slow Sex with Nicole Daedone
Explore the “Slow sex movement” with Nicole Daedone, Founder of One Taste and author of “Slow Sex: the art and craft of the female orgasm”. Through the use of mindful attention and a practice she has developed and has taught to thousands, OM (Orgasmic Meditation) offers an easy to adopt daily practice that elevates the cultivation of pleasure to a spiritual practice. Learn how this shift in...
6 Tricks To Slow Down Sex
According to recent research American heterosexual sex lasts only 7.3 minutes on average. What is the rush, people? If we compare sex to dining, Americans are the sexual equivalent of a fast food joint- an In-N-Out, if you will. Sex, like food, is supposed to be savored. It should be a four course meal.
Why You Should Join the Slow Sex Movement
According to recent research American heterosexual sex lasts only 7.3 minutes on average. What is the rush, people? If we compare sex to dining, Americans are the sexual equivalent of a fast food joint- an ‘In-N-Out’, if you will.
Sex, like food, is supposed to be savored. It should be a four course meal. You don’t just walk into a fancy restaurant and demand your main course. You take your time....
Why Slow Sex Down – 5 Tips To Bridge The Orgasm Gap
“The behavior of a human being in sexual matters is often a prototype for the whole of his other modes of reaction in life.” Sigmund Freud
There are many good reasons to slow sex down but without question, the most meaningful is that we can bridge the orgasm gap through extending lovemaking time. The orgasm gap is the misunderstood and often overlooked time span that most women require to turn on...
Sex & Chronic Illness
At first it may not be obvious how sex and chronic illness are related: what context could they possibly share? Yet spend any time at all not feeling well, or worse, and you’ll know intimately how sex and illness both depend completely on the body. And how, paradoxically, when the body is ailing, a desire for pleasure, any desire at all, can feel impossible.
As Wendy has written, “Our body...
4 Practices for Grateful Sex
I have been working at the crossroads of gratitude and sex for most of my adult life. As the years pile on in my marriage, I am not only astounded by the longevity of my intimate life, but literally weep with gratitude for every moment I get with my husband.
Giving Up Fast Food Sex
As a culture, our diet often suffers from the overwhelming demands of schedule and time constraints; we pick up food on the run and call it a meal. Even when we take the time to prepare a meal at home, we often eat it in front of a screen, eating quickly and mindlessly.
Oral Sex: Understand, Improve and Appreciate It
“Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.” -Marilyn Monroe
Oral sex is, at once, one of the most desirable sexual experiences and the one that still carries enough discomfort to still call it taboo in some circles. There was a time when you could get arrested for it. Still, in the vast sea of sexuality, developing a healthy connection and building skill to oral ways of loving have a power...
Savor Sex Like A Three Course Meal
“We think fast food is equivalent to pornography, nutritionally speaking.” -Steve Elber
As a culture, our diet often suffers from the overwhelming demands of schedule and time constraints; we pick up food on the run and call it a meal. Even when we take the time to prepare a meal at home, we often eat it in front of a screen, eating quickly and mindlessly. Taking the time to taste our food is a...
Sexy Kissing Through Scent
Our sense of smell is ancient and the source of our most powerful emotional memories. It is also the primal sensory pathway to sexual attraction. And yet, we often give little attention to all that our sense of smell can evoke, in part because we have so little vocabulary for scent. Often we're limited to “it smells like…” and delineated only between pleasant and unpleasant.
Rethinking Sexual Boredom
“Boredom is nothing but the experience of a paralysis of our productive powers.” -Erich Fromm
Boredom is defined as the “state of being weary and restless through lack of interest.” Apply this definition to your sex life and you are suddenly in a crowd. In fact, sexual boredom is one of the most often cited reasons for cheating. The drive forces of this weariness and restlessness usually has less...
Improving Our Sexual Senses
“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” –Ashley Smith
Sensory perception is a use it or lose it capacity; the less you employ your five senses, the smaller your related awareness and language becomes, effectively shrinking the known...
Music’s Universal Link With Pleasure: How Music Can Increase Sexual Desire
Music is one thing that can connect humanity, regardless of our culture or where we come from. Famous poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote, “Music is the universal language of mankind.”
How Rest Makes You Sexier
“Sometimes the most urgent and vital thing you can possibly do is take a complete rest.” -Ashleigh Brilliant
I have always been restless and prone to being busy. I love my work and have, for so long, confused who I am with what I do that most days I find myself doing from dawn until late into the night. Consequently, it has taken me years to learn the true value of rest. In this way, I am a...
Bridging the Orgasm Gap
The orgasm gap is built into our different male and female physiology. Learning to awaken our arousal mechanism is a required first step for both men and women, and we often mistakenly believe that our genital response is where arousal begins. In truth, the sexiest part of our body is housed in the limbic brain, where memory, sexuality, and emotion awaken. The neurological circuitry for male arousal is more direct and faster than it is for women, and female arousal is a more interior process.
Fountain of Youth
‘An inordinate passion for pleasure is the secret of remaining young.” -Oscar Wilde
One of my best memories of the recent sex therapy conference that I recently attended was when I met the 84 year old grandmother of one of the PhD students attending the conference. Actually, she was accompanied by both her mom and sister too and the whole family was being interviewed about the ‘hottest thing’ they...
Podcast 20: Fountain of Youth
“An inordinate passion for pleasure is the secret of remaining young.” -Oscar Wilde
One of my best memories of the recent sex therapy conference that I recently attended was when I met the 84 year old grandmother of one of the PhD students attending the conference. Actually, she was accompanied by both her mom and sister too and the whole family was being interviewed about the “hottest thing” they...
EASY: A Good Clean Love Take
“Only work on stuff you love … when I don’t, I fight with my wife a lot more, I’m snippy with my kid.” Joe Swanberg, creator of EASY
Seems like every time I turn around this week, I have been hearing the word “easy”… from my phone which continues to light up with texts from old friends I haven’t heard from in years, “LOL, saw you on easy…”, to the shipping guy at UPS- who suddenly recognizes our...
Other Penetrating Ideas
“The greatest mistake of penetration is not to have fallen short, but to have gone too far.” -Francois de la Rochefoucald
In recent years anal sex seems to have come out of the closet with more people, both gay and straight. More and more people are asking questions and admitting to having tried and liked it than ever before. This of course begs the question, are more people talking about anal sex...
Another Way of Leaving
“Most people are slow to champion love because they fear the transformation it brings into their lives. And make no mistake about it: love does take over and transform the schemes and operations of our egos in a very mighty way.” -Aberjhani
One of the most common ways that we leave each other while staying together is to remove sex from our relationship. This is not a new topic. In recent...
Intimate Clarity
“More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity.” -Francois Gautier
If you can’t clear your mind when you are about to have sex, don’t bother. Coming into bed with a head full of thoughts, any kind of thoughts- from to-do lists to insecurities to anticipation- will prevent you from the experience of engaging sex. Good sex demands one thing above all- your full presence;...
The Essential Orgasm Reading List
During times of uncertainty and anxiety, we believe that leaning into your innate capacity for pleasure is healing and sustaining. With that in mind, we want to share our 2020 reader favorites on the best ways to enhance and deepen your capacity for pleasure. We feel confident that this reading list will not disappoint as you explore the most reliable steps to enhance your arousal and find a gateway to orgasm.
An Oral Taboo
There’s something about rising out of the water that has a lot to do with our sexuality… It is vast, like a sea.’ Joseph CampbellSaying the words oral and sex in the same sentence will turn heads at almost any health or natural conference I attend. Even with a blush, most people engage and want to know more. Providing ideas and products that encourage them to have the conversation or better still,...
The Gift Of Rest
“What is without periods of rest will not endure.” Ovid
Rest and recuperation is the only thing on my Christmas list this year. In the two weeks since my surgery I have worked a ridiculous number of days, insisting on getting things done instead of getting quiet. It has taken a toll. Starting today I am giving myself the gift of rest, which is not the opposite of effort, but rather its source.
R...
4 Ways to Clarify our Pleasure
“More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity.” -Francois Gautier
While we all want pleasure, most of us don’t understand why our pleasure response gets blocked or even how to ignite it. So here are four steps to turn on your libido, enlarge your experience of sex and trust the intelligence of your heart.
Start with an Empty Mind
If you can’t clear your mind when you are...
The Wrist Kiss
It has been a while since we talked about the joy and wonder of sex itself… so it’s Monday, a cold and foggy one with darkness coming earlier. Yes, definitely a day to explore intimacy. Here are the facts leading up to this kiss… foreplay as we have called it, is actually the main play. It sets the tone for any and all orgasms that follow. It is the color of the love and the depth of connection...
The Power of Intimate Rituals
The question of whether intimacy and love-making should be spontaneous or planned is one that gets between many couples. There are two issues in question here and it is important to tease them apart if you are going to make sense of either.
“Passion is the quickest to develop and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still.” — Robert Sternberg
The...
Five Ways to Wake Up
“When one realises one is asleep, at that moment one is already half-awake.” ― P.D. Ouspensky
Asleep at the wheel is an expression that can too easily become an accurate description of how we move through our days and show up in our relationships. Our senses become dulled and we don’t smell or taste what we consume, we hurry through the simple practices of hygiene never feeling our hands running...
Let's Talk About... Awkward Intimate Moments
Sex can be a lot of things. It can be fun, exciting, and intimate at its best. But just like any other good thing, there can be some hiccups along the way. Whether it is your first, third, or 100th time having sex, awkward moments are pretty inevitable, and it’s about time we start normalizing them.
The Hidden Power of Breath
Most people accept breathing as an autonomic process that doesn’t require much thought. It turns out that, although our breath will rise and fall without our direction, adding a little agency and consciousness to our breathing goes a very long way in improving our health.
Is Your Birth Control Making You Dry?
Have you ever started a new birth control, and then noticed that things started feeling a little…off? Turns out, you aren’t the only one! More women are noticing vaginal dryness as a result of their birth control regimen. Don’t worry, though – there are plenty of things you can do to start feeling better.
Taking Care of Your Mind and Body When Trying to Conceive (TTC)
Deciding to try for a baby can be one of the most exciting decisions you make in your life. It is the choice to create a family and look forward to a future of loving your child and experiencing life with them. While trying to conceive (TTC) can be very exciting, it can also be stressful, especially if it takes longer than expected.
Positivity Reinvents Us: The Why Is the Leader
I am a big believer following my why. Many days I don’t know how I am going to solve the problem in front of me, how I am going to come up with the money to take the next step, how I am going to make it work. It is easy to get stuck on the how. I have to work to stay away from wanting the answers to the hows and focus on the why. Meditation helps pull me back into myself so I can hear the small...
Full Disclosure
“The truth is the only thing worth having, and, in a civilized life, like ours, where so many risks are removed, facing it is almost the only courageous thing left to do. “~E.V. Lucas
I wonder if someday, hackers will be thought of as modern day Robin Hoods, where the wealth that they are redistributing is the truth. The recent hack of Ashley Madison and Established Menhas struck a cultural...
Consent 101: Why Communication Is Essential to Healthy Intimacy
One of the most important and meaningful ways to participate in healthy, safe sex is to practice consent with our partners and set boundaries around what you we are and aren't comfortable with.
At the 11th Hour- A Wake Up Call
“When one realises one is asleep, at that moment one is already half-awake.” ― P.D. Ouspensky
Forget about the typical New Year’s resolution this year and instead begin by celebrating all that is right with you and your life. This is truly the only emotional space which can generate the motivation to do something differently. We change effortlessly to increase more of something good, whereas...
Tantra for the Uninitiated
This is the textbook for what sex was made for. Centuries old, Tantric practices are part of a much larger Hindu/Vedic tradition of which sexuality is only part. The full practice is a life long spiritual quest which demonstrates the interconnectedness of everything and includes yoga, meditation, breath work as well as sexual techniques.
The Recession Proof Relationship
“I am convinced, both by faith and experience, that to maintain one’s self on the earth is not a hardship but a pastime- if we live simply and wisely.” -Henry David Thoreau
We are living in anxious times. Improvements in our economy are inconsistent and our sense of security in the systems that we have long looked to for stability feels weak and fragile. There are no quick fixes for the long-term...
Three Ways to Enhance Pleasure Through Tantric Yoga
Tantra, in spite of its glorified reputation as a technique to give you the most ‘mind-blowing sex of your life’, is actually a centuries-old philosophy based on the principles of masculine and feminine energies in nature. Tantra teaches that all of life – from the pure to the profane – is here on purpose, and that engaging with allof life is the most powerful component of our spiritual evolution....
The Life-Changing Benefits of Rest
It has taken me a long time to understand that rest is not the opposite of effort. Rather, it is its source – the literal energetic nourishment necessary for all that we aspire to accomplish. As a life-long doer, resting has never come easily to me.
3 Ways to Feel More Pleasure
“Pleasure is the object, duty and the goal of all rational creatures.” Voltaire
Bathe in your senses
Pleasure is entirely dependent on our physical capacity to experience the world through our senses. We open to pleasure when we become deliberate about learning more about our capacity to see, hear, feel, smell, and taste. Doing this is easier than you might think: just by adopting the practice...
Curiosity 101: How Intimacy Heals
In these days of self-imposed quarantine and the fear of coming close to anyone that is pervading and altering the way we live, we may question the safety of intimate connection as well.
5 Ways to Workout With Your Partner
They say the couple that sweats together, stays together. In fact, Fitness Magazine reports that 94% of couples stick with a workout if they work out together. Folks, that’s almost 100%. Imagine if we all just started working out with our significant others? We’d be so fit.
The more important thing about fitness, in addition to making you look great, is that it makes you feel great. Greatistsay...
Quit Your Pickin’: How to Complain Instead of Criticize
by Jennie Gill Rosier
Over the last few weeks, all but one of our four cars have stopped being able to get us from point A to point B for one reason or another. (Which, by the way, doesn’t include the Hus’ [aka- my husband’s] dream car that’s on jack stands in the garage. So technically, all but one of our five cars don’t work. Why do we have five cars? That’s another story for another time. I...