by Wendy Strgar May 22, 2018
There is no time like long summer nights to cultivate our uniquely, profoundly human capacity for pleasure, especially sexual pleasure. Our pleasure response transforms our relationship to each other and even to life itself. Focusing on pleasure not only changes how we see our opportunities for intimate connection, but also invites us into a deeper relationship with our erotic soul.
True pleasure resets the chemical balances in the brain and body towards centeredness while it heals the past in the present moment. Pleasure is like a system reset which offers us a new way of seeing ourselves and the potential in our life.
What most people don’t understand about the experience of pleasure is that the moments of pure enjoyment are precisely when we are growing and evolving into better versions of ourselves.
So, take this summer to reinvigorate the pleasure in your life. Here are three easy ways to start:
Pleasure is entirely dependent on our physical capacity to experience through our senses. We open to pleasure to the extent that we become deliberate about learning more about our capacity to see, hear, feel, smell, and taste. It’s easier than you would think. Just by adopting the practice of savoring, you will add a few conscious moments to every sensory experience.
Our pleasure response gets primed in the spaces we allow ourselves to become more vulnerable. Living on the edge of our own comfort zones is prerequisite to both truly appreciating what you have and opening up to new possibilities.
Not knowing what will happen next is edgy and feeds the curiosity and sensation that merges into the pleasure response. This is why predictable sex can so easily become divorced from our pleasure response.
Starting small by taking risks with trying a new kind of food or a new place to grocery shop will prepare you for sexier changes like where you will agree to be seduced or how you are willing to touch and be touched. Pushing out the edges of your sexual comfort zone will awaken new places of pleasure capacity that you didn’t know you had.
Our pleasure response is lighthearted. As kids, no one had to teach you how to play. Even the most serious street games of capture the flag were won with just your natural curiosity and eagerness to play. Playing and having fun were second-nature and approaching your pleasure response with this same spirit will free your imagination (i.e., fantasy life) to silence the insidious cultural messages of shame and fear surrounding and sadly smothering our ability to feel pleasure.
The key to rekindling this kind of playful spirit is to reclaim our youthful spontaneity and freedom that came from not worrying about how we were being seen. Sexually speaking, being able to play with abandon and feel and risk more sets up the perfect equation where our pleasure response can blossom and pull our erotic selves out of hiding.
by Wendy Strgar October 25, 2018
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” –Antoine de Saint-Exupery
We believe we are making it better by shielding ourselves from our own pain. This is a fool’s errand, for the pain we refuse to feel and acknowledge doesn’t dissipate from our lacking attention, but rather collects in our heart center with a weightiness that we often cannot name or discern. So fearful are we, of the potential of a broken heart, that we inadvertently refuse to open our hearts at all.
by Wendy Strgar September 13, 2018