June 13, 2018
I remember one of the fathers of a little girl on a soccer team I was coaching years ago who came out to me and told me he was going to go through a transgender process. We were friends, so I was able to ask him about his motivations to go through the painful and expensive process. He said he wanted to finally look how he felt.
June 06, 2018
May 31, 2018
May 22, 2018
There is no time like long summer nights to cultivate our uniquely, profoundly human capacity for pleasure, especially sexual pleasure. Our pleasure response transforms our relationship to each other and even to life itself. Focusing on pleasure not only changes how we see our opportunities for intimate connection, but also invites us into a deeper relationship with our erotic soul.
May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
May 03, 2018
April 26, 2018
Most of us don’t realize how frequently we are checked out of our life. We struggle to stay present in the day-to-day with the never-ending onslaught of digital feeds and new devices that offer superficial connectivity at best, but we lose out on the true contact that feeds our soul and makes us human. More and more scientific research is showing how much we give up when we trade the voyeurism of social media for the real-time relating that makes us feel seen and heard. Even more disturbing is how we are losing the muscle memory to do the messy and gratifying work of truly showing up, risking our heart, and communicating. It is in the trenches of our life, in the mess of people’s feelings spilling over onto us that we are really connected and that we can offer our best self. Start today with one of these tips and see how different life can feel when you fully show up!
April 19, 2018
April 12, 2018
“Kisses are a better fate than wisdom.” E.E. Cummings
Days are becoming balmy, daylight lasting into evening, and the flowering trees are now awash in color. If ever there was a moment that the kiss was invented somehow I am sure it was when the world awoke to springtime. It’s hard to imagine a world in which we didn’t kiss- no wonder that the earliest recorded kisses date back to the very beginning of recorded time. The ancient Indian Vedic scriptures describe lovers “setting mouth to mouth”. Even earlier, historians have understood the kiss as the foundation of our biological drive to reproduce. The earliest recorded kissing began with the practice of brushing noses which allowed potential partners to immediately identify whether the match was compatible.
April 05, 2018
February 20, 2018
Lately when I am up in the middle of the night pondering (some might say ruminating) on the sea changes moving through my life, I remember that if I can’t change my mind, I can’t change anything else.
It’s ironic — these late night self-chats — because often during the daylight hours, I am the instigator of change, the one leading the charge to...
February 14, 2018