by Wendy Strgar August 25, 2010
This song starts to play in my head at interesting moments. Lately it is on instant replay as I sort through current events and try to organize them in categories of what I want and what I need. Here again I seem to be proving the Daniel Gilbert’s theory of Stumbling Around Happiness, which demonstrates that we humans have as little accuracy in remembering what happened in the past as we do at predicting how we will feel in the future. Our mental filters are selective in both directions and our belief that our experience is unique prevents us from really learning from others about things, which we have no experience.
I knew many people who took investments from a variety of sources. People who sold their businesses, took partners, gave up control of their business in one form or another. I don’t really have any stories on the tip of fingers where those changing dynamics lead to long term cooperative relationships. New vision and experience replaces old vision and experience, and perhaps that is the way it works best.
How and why I maintained the idea that I would become an integral part of the new vision is hard to explain in hindsight, even to myself. Letting go of that fantasy has proven harder than I would have expected. Still in many respects, the situation I find myself in completely fulfills what I needed. I have true business expertise invested in the Good Clean Love dream. Truly it has more potential in this moment than ever before, with or with out me.
It is hard to be expendable in your own dreams. But in the end, we all are replaceable. Our unique slant on things is just that unique, but irreplaceable, hardly ever. Most of us hit these walls in life that give us what we need, even if they don’t really feel like what we want. In fact the space between need and want is often nothing but confusion. I hear it from my kids continuously. Their idea of what they need and want run together so frequently that it is hard to discern one from the other, and they rarely do. I am no better really, and among adults it just ends up looking like perpetual confusion.
Clarity is everything. Winning and losing are closer than I ever realized and the only way through is vigilant and deliberate thinking which doesn’t slip into indignation about what you want and strives for contentment with real needs met.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018
by Wendy Strgar April 26, 2018