by Wendy Strgar September 01, 2010
I am changing gears at work and releasing much of the day-to-day responsibilities of the business that has defined my days for as long as I can remember. I have hours at a time now when my mind is free from the multitude of details that constantly needed tending and the many complex relationships that required attention. I am finding myself strangely unhurried and feeling the weight of the exhaustion that I have not had time to acknowledge.
In place of my driving need to work, I find myself longing for rest. I feel out of ideas and the fire that has always burned so hot with all that I imagined to do, is little more than a pilot light. I never knew my light could flicker so low, and that I without panic or concern would feel like a little is enough. It falls well this fatigue, as it is time for me to pass a baton of sorts.
I have run a good race and the team of runners with me are strong and inspired. I finally feel like I can as Plutarch recorded in ancient Greece, enjoy my “rest: the sweet sauce of labor.” I long to swim in that sweet sauce, and immerse myself in the gratitude and peace of a job well done. I find this unfamiliar territory, as I have long seemed wired to multi-tasking and defining myself by what I do. I haven’t really known how to take in the small victories and the well-deserved rest. I have always been on to the next thing.
Letting go in the last couple of weeks was painful at first, then a bit clumsy, but now it is starting to feel buoyant. I am heartened by the words of Ovid, another ancient roman poet who wrote: “Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.” In any cycle of creative generation, rest must have its turn. I am grateful for the chance to find this part of the rotation and optimistic that sitting idle for a bit will produce surprising magic.
by Wendy Strgar May 22, 2018
There is no time like long summer nights to cultivate our uniquely, profoundly human capacity for pleasure, especially sexual pleasure. Our pleasure response transforms our relationship to each other and even to life itself. Focusing on pleasure not only changes how we see our opportunities for intimate connection, but also invites us into a deeper relationship with our erotic soul.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018