by Wendy Strgar February 26, 2010
All four of my children are currently in the beginnings of a relationship. My boy’s girlfriends are young and sweet and bring out the best in them. My girls both have boyfriends. My 11 year old, who is just graduated out of American Girl magazines, likes a boy named Albert who has an identical twin. Their middle school relationship is pure and dear. It reflects their experience and the wonder of first discovering that the opposite sex could be your friend.
I am close with my children, they tell me what is going on with them and what things feel like. She tells me how her boyfriend waits outside the door after class for them to walk to class together. I see a picture of them laughing together in the breezeway. They were friends all year, but now since he asked her out, they can do it out loud , and they can call each other. My youngest girl is so lovely, I don’t remember sliding into my adolescent form with nearly the grace she has. After years of holding back, with the help of a good homeopath, she has suddenly opened up and is blossoming ever since.
My eldest son, who challenges everything is soft and malleable when his new girlfriend is around. He laughs easily again and is almost respectful. His other girlfriends all did this to him also. I am glad to know he always chooses girls that make him want to behave better. He has said some of the most heart rendering things about life and love to me when he is in this place that it gives me pause, wondering whether I even know the people I have raised.
My eldest daughter has engaged in several on-line relationship matches. As a journalist she is doing a social research experiment. The last experience was with a military guy in a war zone. An intense romantic dream transpired and disappeared so quickly it felt like a novel. The rules on the next experience was had to meet for real within weeks of the online meeting. Watching this I realize how the new data technologies have transformed and sped up the courtship dance.
My younger son has finally asked out this sweet girl who befriended his little sister because she liked him so much… We are all so relieved he finally went through with it. He told her right off that he wanted this experience to be for real. She agreed. He is already planning their first outing to the movies. She got to pick the movie.
Being around young love keeps you focused on the essential emotional heart of life. Love is the clearest road to positivity that this life has to offer and the highest good.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018
by Wendy Strgar April 26, 2018