Good Clean Reads

‘And in the end, the love we take is equal to the love we make�’ -The Beatles

This year we prepare for Valentine’s Day with the aspiration of Love for All. The world is demanding that we wake up and realize that the most important thing we have to discover in ourselves is our capacity to love. Sometimes the most challenging work we undertake is following through with our promises to love, other...

“Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire. Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired.” Martha Graham

Today is Day One of my wristband experiment. The wristband is used as a physical reminder to keep track of all the negative thoughts coming out of my mouth. Each time you witness yourself saying, or more...

“So often times it happens, we all live our life in chains, and we never even know we have the key.” ~The Eagles, “Already Gone”

Today I realized that the weakest link in my positivity quest turns out to be in how I talk, which is not a small hurdle, given that I talk a lot. Now that I am on the positivity quest, everyone around me feels free to point out the negativity that flows freely out of...

“In all our searching, the only thing we’ve found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other.”– ‘Contact’

For a loveologist, everything is about the relationship. It is the first thing I notice in any given situation and the thing that I most work to cultivate. How I feel about myself and the world starts and ends with the myriad relationships that make my days. This can be hard on my positivity quest as many of my relationships are not predictable or stable. (Think teenagers, although babies and midlife crisis and aging would probably all fit the bill as well). Still, my life gets breath and meaning from relating. I believe that my ability to relate provides the truest reflection and for better or worse acts as the barometer of my days.

I remember once reading something that struck me early in my marriage when things were challenging for us and I often wondered why I wanted to be married so much to begin with. The quote as best I can remember it said “choose your partner wisely, for it will create 90% of the joy or sorrow of your life.” Having been married now for more than half my life, I would have to say that it is more true than not. When things are working between us, my life also works. When things are not working- so goes my life.

“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.” – Kurt Vonnegut

It is only day 5 of the Positivity Quest and I am already struggling to find the light. Admittedly living here in the gloomy northwest winter doesn’t help. Daylight is no more than a soft gray and doesn’t last long at this time of year. I...

“Some people think that meditation takes time away from physical accomplishment. Taken to extremes, of course, that’s true. Most people, however, find that meditation creates more time than it takes.”

-Peter McWilliams

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Every day when I awake I realize that I have to learn yet again how to be positive. Often the first thoughts of the day for me are anxiety filled. It’s unfortunate that it is...

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes. ~William James

A positivity ratiois the number of positive events or thoughts you have compared with the number of negative ones. According to Dr. Barbara Fredrickson a positive event can be something as small as a feeling of gratitude or an attitude which is curious and wondering....

“Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.”- Anthony Robbins

The New Year began under the light of a blue moon, although I couldn’t see it as I drove down a dark freeway in the driving rain. I was trying to follow the lane markers when the car started to hydroplane. Then a light symbol showed up on my dash that was...

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.”– Buddha

We all have a biologically imposed hedonic set pointin our ability to be positive and happy. It isn’t surprising when you consider how many of our personality traits can be linked to our genetic code. The nature/nurture argument has clearly demonstrated that the environment of our...