One of the most important revelations I ever had about relationships is that the ones that tend to thrive understand the relationship not just as a product of the interaction between two people, but rather as a living entity unto itself. This distinction is everything because when we perceive our relationship as a living thing with its own requirements, we have a way out of the persistent and damaging competition of whose needs are being met. Instead, we can focus on fulfilling the demands of the relationship, which magically then creates the safety and space to meet all of the individual needs we bring to it.
