Question:
For the past month or so every time my husband and I have sex I can’t cum. What is wrong with me? There’s always a lack of natural lubrication. We also have a 3-month-old baby. Thanks.
–Melissa, 31, NM

Answer:
As a sexuality educator for Good Clean Love I get lots of questions about vaginal lubrication. Lots of women and their partners find vaginal lubrication rather enigmatic — and for good reason. Most textbook explanations of the “mechanics of sex” don’t mention it. Polite conversations steer clear of it. And frankly, lubrication as a symbol of desire and readiness for lovemaking is quite subtle; for example, it isn’t quite as obvious as its male counter part, an erection. But don’t let the subtlety of lubrication fool you. It plays a huge role in how women experience feelings of arousal and the physical sensations of lovemaking.

Without lubrication women can feel as if their desire must be low, or the actual sensation of touch can be irritating or even painful. The solution is actually pretty easy to find.

Melissa, you mention that you are a new mother. Lack of lubrication is a really normal experience for new mothers. For many women, the same hormones that help promote a healthy pregnancy and breast milk production also cause a lack of vaginal lubrication. This is natural and not cause for alarm. And it doesn’t require women to cease being intimate with their partners during and after a pregnancy.Lube

Throughout history women have used a variety of lubricants to help them ease into enjoying intimacy. The natural lubricants from Good Love Love are all edible and delicious. They are safe for latex condoms, toys and for use throughout pregnancy and breastfeeding, they are also 99.99% vegan, with no animal products or animal testing. And best of all, they create the lubrication that is so necessary for sexual touch to feel great, not ouchy.

Keep in mind that oftentimes the physiological issue of “not getting wet” is accompanied by a lack of sexual drive because our natural lubrication also acts as a sign that we are aroused. These body memories are stored deep in our psyche, and the good news is Good Clean Love lubricant can trigger them just as well as one’s natural lubrication.

Enjoy!