“When one realises one is asleep, at that moment one is already half-awake.” ― P.D. Ouspensky
Forget about the typical New Year’s resolution this year and instead begin by celebrating all that is right with you and your life. This is truly the only emotional space which can generate the motivation to do something differently. We change effortlessly to increase more of something good, whereas changes to remove something undesirable are often not only hard to initiate, but become quickly impossible to sustain. Perhaps it is because we identify with the parts of ourselves that bring up shame or because we feel unworthy, but often working to eradicate our bad habits usually only leads to more of the same. Whereas it can take a relatively small shift in focus that awakens us to the goodness in ourselves and in our lives. Making that leap is the first step to waking up to a life that is both more satisfying and generative.
Waking up to the good in ourselves opens us up to re-thinking how we move through our days with more pleasure and show up in our relationships more effectively. We have more attention for the smallest sensory experiences like washing our hands or tasting a favorite food. In turn we are able to take more risks emotionally and sexually which releases us from the narrow boundaries of the acceptable which becomes a sexual rut over time.
Waking up to the truth of your own potential goodness is a bold act of revolution and whether it applies most to your work, your relationships or your sex life the following list of tips practiced consistently will shake your internal chains free and wake you up to a life that will surprise you.
- Take More Risks. Living on the edge of our own comfort zone is prerequisite to both truly appreciating what you have and opening up to new possibilities. Not knowing what might happen next is edgy in a real way, and more exciting than watching a scary movie or playing a digital game because the consequences are yours. The rising popularity of reality TV shows reflects an unquenched desire in most of us to dare to be great. You can start small- maybe trying a new kind of food or going to a new place to grocery shop. Placing yourself in the midst of not knowing what will happen next wakes you up to what you do know.
- Move your body more. The statistics on the number of people who are relatively stationary even in sex is amazing. Remembering that how we learn about who we are in the most primary way from the moment of our birth is through our ability to move. Little babies spend their entire waking life reaching beyond their capacity to experience the world. Tap into that little baby still living somewhere inside you and be willing to risk the physical discomfort of arduous exercise, longer walks, and new sexual positions. Truly the pain associated with using your body fully is way more interesting than the slow atrophy of sitting on a couch.
- Use your senses more. Be deliberate with your visceral experience through your capacity to see, hear, feel, smell and taste. Adopt an attitude of savoring, which will add at least a couple of moments to every sensory experience. Look at colors around you and imagine what it would be like to paint them. Start listening for the subtle noises around you; it will entrain you to hear the quieter voice in your own mind. Take the time to taste the individual ingredients when you cook. Slow down the eating process and linger over a single bite. Smell the air where you are. Try to remember the last time you smelled a cold winter evening just like this one. Really feel how it feels to have a hand trace slowly up your back. Stay longer in a hug and feel the weight of someone leaning into you.
- Make Love More. Any kind of Love. Explore and expand the pleasure centers in your own body. Give things away. Give someone your fullest attention while interacting with them. Allow people to be who they are and take that permission for yourself. Feel the visceral truth of gratitude even for the smallest life experiences. Get over yourself and ask for more love. Look for the love coming at you every day. It will wake you up.