There are a few important things to say about exercise and love. The first is that working hard in strengthening your physical body is a powerful metaphor for the daily stamina it takes to make love sustainable. Feeling physically strong helps to strengthen your ability to respond proactively in stressful situations.

I just recently started exercise (Pilates) classes after many years of regular walking and some yoga. Continuous low back pain turned into neck pain and frequent pelvic pain- all scared me enough to stop saying I was too busy to exercise. The first month was hard, as I marveled at how weak I had become. I was so surprised how quickly muscles that I haven’t spoken to in 20 years woke up and agreed to participate again. It was just about paying attention to them and taking the time to find them. Remarkably, four months later I now look forward to my Pilates workout as a highlight of the week. I am so excited to feel muscles in my center that it helps me feel strong in other challenging areas of life too.

Other health benefits not withstanding, it has also deeply enhanced my enjoyment of sex as well. My pelvic floor muscles and inner thigh muscles are strong enough to hold on now, and my husband has even (without prompting) remarked about the difference. In my 20s, I never understood what those bridging poses and pelvic exercises were about. Let me say, now they are crystal clear.

As though all of that is not enough, the other profound benefit of a regular core conditioning class is that it gives you permission to deeply feel and live in your body for an hour at a time. This may be the biggest boon to an improved intimate life, because with increased familiarity to living deep in the body, comes an opening of sharing that with someone special.

I probably don’t need to cite all the zillions of studies that support this notion of regular exercise- because truly life feels better in motion.