by Wendy Strgar March 28, 2011
My measures of success are changing as I am more deeply anchored to positivity. On some days, just the bold and courageous act of showing up again is enough. You can’t quite see how it will all work, but you have enough faith in yourself and the world to wait it out. Even as you make the attempts to solve problems that won’t budge or open pathways to new possibilities that remain out of reach, you stay immersed in your ineffectiveness and call it good.
There is a dishonest travel company that recently sold me a room for the Expo West. I still can’t tell if it is a long chain of unintentional mistakes or a scam but the longer I wait on a refund, the more I feel a victim of a scam. Each day, I have to fight getting caught up in my indignant anger. It is like a storm ever at the ready to swallow me up. Dealing with dishonesty and disrespect in the course of your days and not dropping into the drama and emotional turmoil it generates has been a challenge. I watch myself gravitate toward the issue in the moments when I am already feeling low. Most of the dramas we create are feeding the frustrations already inside of us.
It is easy to get lost in the spiraling tales of human drama. There is a stickiness factor to indignation, anger and even hatred. They are feelings that can consume so much time and energy because it is easier to live in the justification and rage than face to pain and humiliation that comes from giving up to the losses. I know people who have dedicated their life to this pursuit. It is not a happy ending.
Real success can be measured by our ability to let go of the stories that lead us to a dead end in ourselves. Coming back to some deeper truth about how we are all in this together and being able to see the predicament as a shared human experience are the measures of real success. Even if I only get a glimpse of this, the stickiness of the anger loses its grip.
Some days just remembering why I spend my hours trying to make a love company work and grow in the world is all I can do. It is enough to find a single reason to keep up this business for love. I can call it success as I fall off to sleep.
by Wendy Strgar May 22, 2018
There is no time like long summer nights to cultivate our uniquely, profoundly human capacity for pleasure, especially sexual pleasure. Our pleasure response transforms our relationship to each other and even to life itself. Focusing on pleasure not only changes how we see our opportunities for intimate connection, but also invites us into a deeper relationship with our erotic soul.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018