“What we learn with pleasure we never forget.” Alfred Mercier

In our culture, so focused on instant gratification, it is easy to lose sight of what creates a long-lasting and deeply healing experience of pleasure. While instant gratification does feed our brains with a dopamine response, making us constantly want more, the deep experience of true pleasure resets the chemical balances in the brain and body towards centeredness. Sadly, many of the things we use to get instant satisfaction, whether drugs, alcohol or food can be harmful on repeat—but true pleasure does not cause harm. More profoundly, real pleasure is an act of forgiveness both internally and in our relationships—it heals the past in the present, releasing us into a new way of seeing ourselves and the potential in our life.

The arousal response is your body’s natural mechanism for accessing pleasure. Although often confused with the genital swelling that accompanies our arousal response, the ignition for our arousal lives in the sexiest organ of our body—our brain. Specifically, in the limbic area of the brain, which processes memory and emotion and is conveniently co-located with our olfactory bulb, our sense of smell invigorates our emotional process, our access to memories, and our feeling of being turned on. Truly, your orgasmic potential begins with your ability to cultivate your arousal mechanism.

The ability to orgasm remains one of the most coveted and yet misunderstood human experiences. We often believe it is solely a genital experience, but our ability to climax reverberates throughout the body and initiates deep in the brain. Below is an easy-to-use guide that, with a unique blend of practice and letting go, will help move you from arousal to orgasm.

Our cultural conceptualization of gender as a society is changing. Most of us are aware of the rise in the use of gender-neutral pronouns, as the cultural visibility of others who do not feel identified within the gender binary has increased in recent years. About one in five Americans personally know someone who prefers a pronoun other than ‘he’ or ‘she’. Many of us may not understand what preferred gender pronouns are and why they are crucial to many.