by Wendy Strgar November 01, 2006
I read this survey that was included in the Ladies Home Journal the other day asking a wide variety of questions about intimacy and relationships. I was in the doctor’s office with my two teenagers and was sharing the results of the survey with them. The question that still stays with me and shocked them as much as me was. If you had to choose between conversation and sex with your guy for a month what would you give up? Can you believe a whopping 80% would give up sex?
I guess I should stop being shocked. The men’s responses were not surprisingly skewed towards sex over conversation, but still I had to ask myself, what could you want to talk about that badly. Here’s the thing that I have found to be true, my verbal conversations have more depth, intimacy and real listening when we have a physical conversation first. Sex connects two people in a way that words can sometimes confuse.
I sometimes wonder if I am guilty of oversimplifying when I say this especially in light of the fact that I am clearly part of a minority, but I really believe that we seriously underrate pleasure as a medium of communication. We dismiss our bodies and their needs as being less than or at least more base than the thoughts floating around our heads- My body is more honest than my mind if I am willing to listen to it. The stories in my mind can build castles and destroy empires left to their own devices. Have the conversation with your bodies first, you will probably tend to agree more.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018
by Wendy Strgar April 26, 2018