by Wendy Strgar January 13, 2010
A comment on a recent positivity post came to mind today when I was watching the tragic post-earthquake unfold in Haiti. A reader wrote in and said that all the positivity babble in the world won’t change the suffering in the world one iota. The positivity quest is no different than Dale Carnegie or any of the more recent new age “secrets.” I thought about this as I watched the videos of people whose world has come undone again. Haiti, still recovering from massive tropical storms has one of the lowest standards of living in the world and has struggled with enduring political instability. This earthquake has effectively destroyed what little infrastructure that was holding them together.
In the face of this kind of tragedy I wonder if the comments by my reader are true. I question not only my ability to be positive but my right to pursue such a goal in the midst of so much pain and suffering. I wonder how I could be so fortunate to be able to pursue positivity when so many people on the planet are struggling with basic survival needs. I get pulled into despair and overwhelmed by both a need to do more and an inability to know where to start. I don’t want to turn away from the massive suffering in the world and I fear being swallowed up by it.
The answer to my questions comes quickly and deeply when a dear friend shares this poem by Thich Nhat Hanh with me today:
The only thing worthy of you is compassion –
invincible, limitless, unconditional.
Hatred will never let you face
the beast in man.
One day, when you face this beast alone
with your courage intact, your eyes kind,
(even as no one sees them),
out of your smile
will bloom a flower.
And those who love you
will behold you
across ten thousand worlds of birth and dying.
I will go on with bent head,
knowing that love has become eternal.
On the long, rough road
the sun and moon will continue to shine.
The best I have to give comes through love in me. Real love, when you don’t need anything back is grace, the place that springs hope and compassion. I consider what I can give to this tragedy and realize again that my way will be made clear with a positive mind and an open heart.
by Wendy Strgar May 22, 2018
There is no time like long summer nights to cultivate our uniquely, profoundly human capacity for pleasure, especially sexual pleasure. Our pleasure response transforms our relationship to each other and even to life itself. Focusing on pleasure not only changes how we see our opportunities for intimate connection, but also invites us into a deeper relationship with our erotic soul.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018