by Wendy Strgar July 07, 2010
Probably the best thing I have added to our home is the outdoor fire pit that I picked up for the big middle school graduation party. Surrounded by Adirondack chairs and a gliding bench, it is a ready circle that calls us out of the house to watch the late evening dusk fade to night. Usually it is my kids and their friends that populate the circle, but sometimes, like tonight I go out there and am drawn in by both my memories of summer campfires and the intimacy that sharing a fire creates.
The conversation among the kids often turns to relationships by the fire. They are still in the time of asking each other through friends if they like the other. The strategizing and connecting that used to take days now can happen in moments through the immediacy of text messaging. Still as much as things change, the essence of them remains the same; we are always going to ask: “Do you like him?” She is always going to answer “Why are you asking?”
The rituals of finding each other are as ancient as the connection that we find sitting around the warmth of a fire. It is no wonder that they inspire each other and that fire is the metaphor for the deepest and most intimate connection we can make with someone we love. Fire is the natural element in the world that changes everything it touches and its power of transformation works on and in us.
My singular goal of late in this positivity quest has been to lighten up, to not work so hard at life and let it be what it is. One of the easiest places to do that for me is at our family camp fire. I have mastered the art of doing and I am over the drive for having, this time in life is asking me to learn how to be. Sitting in front of a fire, burning its way through a story of its own is an open door to being, no trying required.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018
by Wendy Strgar April 26, 2018