by Wendy Strgar July 24, 2010
I have been indulging in novels this summer. I have been lucky enough to find stories that capture my attention so much that I can’t stop reading, staying up late into the night, and cutting out less pressing goals in favor of reading time. I just finished reading Island Beneath the Sea by Isabelle Allende and although I have learned many of the facts of slavery over the years of public education, I didn’t realize until reading this book, how much I didn’t understand about the meaning of prejudice and racial injustice. This fictional account of the history of prejudice in America offered an insight into the felt experience of being black, both free and slave in America through a character I grew to care about and who opened in me both compassion and empathy.
What I realized today when I was thinking of the range of stories I have been told by authors and friends recently, is that how we perceive, interact with and respond to our sexuality is pivotal in every life. Looking at a story character’s life through the lens of their sexual experience tells you volumes about what it meant to live in the world at different time periods and at different levels of culture.
I just started a first novel by Jillian Lauren called Some Girls. It is a fictional account of a girl who, little by little, chooses prostitution as a vocation and lifestyle. Listening to the voice of the girl who lies at least as much to herself as to her family, awoke both compassion and fear of how easily weak self esteem and the wrong circumstances at the right time often conspire against us.
How each character deals with the sexual experiences that shaped their lives, both chosen and forced, becomes the center around which life stories are built. Dr Paul Tournier wrote: “Recounting of a life story, a mind thinking aloud leads one inevitably to the consideration of problems which are no longer psychological but spiritual.” There has never been a spiritual problem that is not also a reflection of a sexual issue according to Carl Jung. Our stories about our selves are linked to our sexual lives in pervasive and influential ways.
Since the beginning of recorded time, humans have become story tellers. It has provided us a context for us to understand the plot of our own lives and a way to give it meaning and purpose. Clarifying your sexual experience can only make the story better.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018
by Wendy Strgar April 26, 2018