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Day 209: There is No Trying

July 28, 2010

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”  -Lao Tzu

A good friend told me an important truth about all the trying I have been doing to let go of how things have been at Good Clean Love.  She said, “It is interesting that when you are trying, even when you are 99% of the way there it is really hard, but just 1% more, it gets really easy.” Trying to let go is a way of holding on,  it is the grieving for all the pieces of a situation that you never identified as valuable until they are leaving your grasp.

Havelock Ellis said, “All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”  Figuring out how to hold onto yourself while things change and slip out of your control is an art.  Holding on with compassion and forgiveness for the love that you shared with someone when you are letting go of  a significant relationship is the art of cultivating a courageous and loving heart to take you through life. Neither of these situations respond to trying,  it is a head first dive into the surrender that allows you to step into the future.

Easy for me to sit here and encourage the leap of faith as I wallow in my own trying to let my business grow beyond me. Good Clean Love has served as both the vehicle to finding myself and my voice, as well as  an identity as something bigger than myself.  I got what I wished for and now am realizing what needs to be set free in its wake. Hence, the warning to be careful for what you wish for- you might get it.

Often as we envision the future, it is rarely a full picture of what is coming that we hold.  We have to be willing to let go of our own version of the life we planned in order to accept the life that is waiting for us.  Looking for the courage to walk out on my history and see what I might become.  I imagine when I get there I will wonder what all this kicking and screaming out the door was about.  Most things are hard until they are easy, but none so much as the grace of letting go.

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