by Wendy Strgar November 08, 2010
This quote is the for me the heart of the positivity quest. How I approach my relationships, my work, the big changes that are happening around me is the largest single predictor of how the time will play out. Even after 310 days of looking and becoming conscious of my thinking, I am often surprised by the vestiges of doubt or resentment or hurt that color my interpretations. Sometimes I can see it happening but other times they come hidden in some form of judgment.
Judging is how we know right from wrong, it is a behavior that is deeply tied to our personal sense of values, so some judgment is important to hold onto because it is helpful in knowing what we like, what we believe in, what we want to move towards. But where this judgment ends and becomes a bad attitude is a slippery slope. Many times I don’t even see myself sliding down until I am already there.
For me the most challenging judgments, the ones that start looking like a bad attitude quickly are the times when I take liberties at interpreting other people’s behaviors in terms of myself; generally not my most confident aspect of myself. When I feel weakest, my judgments reflect that weakness more than any truth that I am judging.
Spending this last year noticing these times and finding ways to respond to my own weakness or insecurity is a stable pathway for positivity. When I am consistently kind and generous with myself, I can live relatively judgment free and have a much better chance of making something good out of what is happening. Cultivating this attitude gives me pretty good odds of a positive day.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018
by Wendy Strgar April 26, 2018