Question:

Thanks for your informative site. I am curious about what advice you give married couples about the use of pornography in erotic stimulation. What issues do you think are important to cover with giving advice to couples? What are your thoughts on pornography addiction and its affects on marriage?

Answer:

Great questions. First, one of the most important things to remember about porn is that it’s designed for sexual arousal, and is not meant to be a source of sexual information. Why? Because porn is based on fantasy. From the way the actors look to the way they have sex. Therefore, it’s important that you don’t compare yourself and/or your partner to porn stars, or you may feel “inadequate” rather than sexy. Many couples enjoy the erotic stimulation of pornography, and enjoy watching it together. So, if you and your partner like to watch porn, and it enhances your relationship… enjoy.

However, if your partner has compulsive or addictive behaviors around pornography, it can have an affect on your relationship. The best way to know if your partner has a problem is to assess if your relationship is being negatively affected. If your partner is less interested in having sex with you, spending too much time on the Internet, or less sexually present or responsive during sex, there may be a problem.

If you’re experiencing any of the above, I recommend seeking the help of an AASECT certified sex therapist (AASECT.ORG)