by Wendy Strgar June 20, 2014
I spent most of my youth after my parents’ divorce trying to make a family to replace the broken, violent home from which I came. I didn’t just want friends, I wanted sisters to stand beside me and help me learn what unconditional love feels like. I longed for a best friend. I met Sarah when I was 21. Within a week of knowing each other I was driving her daughter in her car to a language camp that I organized.
For us, it wasn’t a meeting but rather finding each other again.
Sarah was the one who helped me hang the parachute on the falling down ceiling in the church basement hours before my wedding. She was the one with cabbage leaves in hand for the early nursing days with my first baby. She and I and her young daughter lived together in France, memorizing the principles of miracles and learning how trusting ourselves changed the world around us. In her, I found a home in myself and every time we are together the world feels right, or more accurately, I am right with the world.
I am just home from three days with her, where we drove through the rolling hills and flat prairies of the Midwest. She accompanied me on a business trip to see a few new big customers and we filled the other hours exploring the shores of Lake Michigan, taking a mud bath, and walking the paths we had taken 25 years before. When we talk, there is a hearing that feels deeper than being heard, more like a knowing of what is behind the words.
Everything we do has a feeling of sharing- from the foods we eat, to the vistas we look on. Our intimacy has no obstacles, unlike most others we share with family. There is no ways that we are defended with each other. Even in our meditation space , we were able to share in an invisible astral space where we both felt more deeply united than we had felt before.
I always cry when it is time for us to part. It is always wrenching to leave the deep heart connect that helps me remember and feel how we are all connected. Basking in the rare moments when even my biggest weaknesses are embraced, I can forgive myself. The gift of unconditional love is a rare gem. Best friends bless you by helping you grow into your best self. If you have a best friend, express your gratitude every chance you get. If you don’t, become one and you may just find a relationship that will change your life.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018
by Wendy Strgar April 26, 2018