By Dr Tammy Nelson

Many couples have trouble finding the energy to keep up an exciting sex life.  Stress, exhaustion, kids, boredom – they can all lead to lack of enthusiasm in the bedroom.  One way to recharge your love life is to make a date for sex.  Carve out a time for sex in your schedule and put it on your calendar.  Make it the same day or night every week. Does that sound spontaneous? Not really.  But you can be as spontaneous as you want – if you plan it.

Here’s how it works:

Make a date with your partner for sex. Pick a day during the week and stick to it. Try to make it the same day or night every week. Use your sex date night as a time to honor the erotic in your relationship. Every other night is about the day to day life of your relationship. Make this one night about lovemaking.

On your date, make an effort to create an atmosphere in the bedroom that will remind both of you that this is a sacred space for you to enjoy your erotic time together. Light candles, put fresh flowers by the bed, and put soft sheets and blankets on the bed. Pick out sexy music your partner will like.  Put massage oil and lube by the side of the bed.

Remember to keep your expectations open and reasonable. Massage, communication, and sharing fantasies can make this an important night of sensual pleasures.  If you don’t make love or have intercourse don’t be disappointed, use this night to connect and feel the sexual energy between you.

Having a sex date night means that there is one special night a week to look forward to.  The anticipation will  increase your erotic attraction for each other. You may find that the sexual energy between you flows into other nights of the week as well.

Dr Tammy Nelson is a sex and relationship expert and the author of What’s Eating You?, Getting the Sex You Wantand the upcoming The New Monogamy due out in 2012.  Connect with Tammy athttp://www.drtammynelson.com