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Sexual Presence

“When it’s over, I want to say:  All my life I was a bride married to amazement.  I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.”  -Mary Oliver

Every now and again we are given the gift of true presence. Usually it is when we are faced with the stark realization of the fragility of life: the moment of loss or the miraculous reprieve. This is when our gratitude for a moment, in this body, with this person that you love is all you need to experience deep gratitude that changes how you see. In these moments of pure presence, the small details of life fall away and the mystery of our frail human form and relationships is all that we have, and all that we ever really had.


This naked place of pure presence is not an easy one to live in. We know in these moments of pure love and connection, pure loss and loneliness, that our emotions are not thoughts in our head, but physical weighty forces that fill our body so completely that they alter our senses. This is why falling in or out of love is a full body experience- one that impacts how we see everything, as well as our ability to eat, sleep and think.

Bringing the gift of full presence into the bedroom is perhaps the most transformative gift you can offer. Entering the bedroom with a grateful and open heart is worth a million times more than even the Lelo 24 karat gold vibrator. We can’t purchase what we want most in the world from each other. Sharing our genuine feelings with someone is the gateway to the most memorable passionate experience available.

Tapping into the deep sexual thoughts and feelings that ring true for you about your partner and offering them with your whole being is a gift that will be long remembered. Replacing old repressed sexual slights with an open willingness to explore your sexuality is not only free to give but will open your sexuality to a new level of freedom that will give to both of you in ways that will transform the meaning of sexual presence.

The meaning and love that you have the chance to make in your life is the only gift that will count when your days together are over. Open your arms wide to the mystery of your connection and don’t hold back. Look for and create the moments when you hold nothing back and bask in what it means to live in the pure presence of love. This is what holidays are meant to celebrate.