Good Clean Reads

Every few months, it seems someone starts up the never-ending discussion again: How close is too close when it comes to friendships between men and women without sex getting in the way? And can you still be friends with your opposite sex friends after you're in a relationship? (Or same-sex if in a same-sex relationship?)In the 80s, When Harry Met Sally tried to answer these questions. Their answers? No, to the first question. After all, Harry and Sally always kind of have a thing for each other.

Recently I watched Emily Nagoski’s Ted Talk “Unlocking the Door to Your Authentic Sexual Wellbeing.” Whether or not you believe you have such a metaphorical door to “unlock,” I highly recommend Emily’s talk — she’s funny, engaging, and supports her claims about sex with science.

At the start of her talk, Emily shares feedback she received from students in a 1000-level sexuality course she taught...

Today is President’s Day in the US, which means most of us are at work and post offices are closed — you can put off mailing your income taxes for another day. The holiday doesn’t give you a good excuse for putting off starting your taxes, but don’t panic: in this post we’re going to suggest that you relax. We’re also going to suggest a way of practicing relaxation that meditators have been using...

I had this roommate once who was really into “hitting on girls.” We were recently out of college, and he hadn’t hit on girls much in college, but now we were young men living in Boston and he’d discovered that this was something he could do, hitting on girls. It became his project. He had a group of (male) friends who he would talk to about the best ways to hit on girls, and then they would go out...

“We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness.”  -Albert Schweitzer

 

I have been lonely in my marriage for decades. Yet to be fair, I have felt lonely for as long as I can remember. Like many people, I believed that getting married would be a cure for the pervasive sense of loneliness with which I grew up. It’s hard to know whether my loneliness is like other character traits,...

Last week we learned how to integrate spiritual practices into our relationship.

According to nearly all of the world’s major spiritual traditions, the ultimate attainment in life is to learn that we are all One. But, to most people on any normal day, what does that even mean? We all walk around with our own hurts, pains, joys and triumphs. As much as we’d like to join with others, we feel (and...

“And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.”  -T.S.  Eliot

Sexual boredom and the collateral damage of intimate isolation top the list when it comes to the cited explanations for cheating and relationship endings. Somehow sexual boredom often gets linked to sex positions, thinking if we change up how we do it, we would find the...

Last week we discussed the idea of using your relationship as a daily spiritual practice.

At the root of all the major religions and spiritual practices are principles like love, faith, compassion, and trust. They aim to teach humanity about how to coexist in a world that is bigger than any one individual.

Victor Hugo once said this of love: “To love another person is to see the face of God.”

Wh...

“Most people have no idea how good their body is designed to feel.”  -Kevin Trudeau

I couldn’t sleep on my right side anymore. In yoga my right knee couldn’t do yoga poses anymore. I tried therapies of all kinds, I bought a new mattress… no relief. Finally I went to a physical therapist and was diagnosed with gluteal amnesia, which is apparently a common syndrome, in which the muscles of the butt...