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Relationships as a Spiritual Practice (Part 3)

Last week we learned how to integrate spiritual practices into our relationship.

According to nearly all of the world’s major spiritual traditions, the ultimate attainment in life is to learn that we are all One. But, to most people on any normal day, what does that even mean? We all walk around with our own hurts, pains, joys and triumphs. As much as we’d like to join with others, we feel (and make) ourselves separate.

It’s clear how this sense of separation can affect sex our sex lives. Sex (the mind-melding, transcendent kind of sex we all dream about) is the most accessible gateway to feeling connected to everything. When we can connect deeply with our partner and fuse our energies, then it is easier for us (at least in that moment) to recognize that the energy we create together and inside ourselves connects to the energy of all living things on the planet.

While this may sound like a lofty goal, opportunities for moments of connection and transcendence are actually happening all the time, in our sex lives too. Reaching a deep sense of connection doesn’t require one to have a specific type of sex. You have probably already had this kind of experience. Think of the best sex you’ve ever had… How did it make you feel? Did it transport you out of your everyday experience? Did it make you orgasm? Did you feel ridiculously connected to your partner? If you answered yes to any of these, then you’ve already experienced a taste of how sex connects.

Besides a willingness to be open to a totally transformative experience, each individual must be willing to be deeply vulnerable to whatever is about to happen. While many might feel like they would be unable to have this type of experience without a loving, monogamous relationship, others enjoy the anonymity of being with someone they’ve only just met — feeling like it’s easier to be vulnerable and unguarded when you’re not sure if you’re going to see that person again.

Here are a few more tips for accessing the spiritual realm through sex:

  • Meditate: Whether you do this together or separately, meditating before sex allows you to relax, both physically and mentally, which will help you get to a space that is both open and vulnerable.
  • Basic Tantra: No, you do not need to become a full-on Tantric master (or mistress) to reap the rewards of Tantra. Try sitting cross legged across from each other but close enough that you can touch. Do some quiet breathing while you look in each other’s eyes.
  • Set the mood: Bring in some candles, play some music or try out some aphrodisiac scents, like our organic aphrodisiac Love Oils. The right atmosphere can transform a seemingly innocuous space into one that enables the relaxation and openness required for this type of intimacy.
  • Breathe: Practice synchronizing your breath with your partner during sex. You’ll find your heart rate evens out and that you’ll feel more at peace and connected.
  • Open your eyes: Practice keeping your eyes open during sex and watch what happens to your partner’s face while in the throes of lovemaking.

These are just a few of many ways to deepen your connection during sex and open up to the divinity that is within you, your lover, and all around you both. Let us know what gets you in that space!