The Importance of Truth

“The world is too dangerous for anything but truth and too small for anything but love.” – W.S. Coffin

Telling the truth in relationships is perhaps the most challenging aspect of relating. Not doing it makes relationships impossible. It is difficult because it takes time to know our own truth and often, even as we get it, truth is as changeable as the days we live in. The wise among us know that...

READ MORE

Happier In Love

“The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves or rather, loved in spite of ourselves” -Victor Hugo

Serious scientific inquiry has proven this quote to be true. By all measures of health and well being, the single most significant predictor of life time happiness and longevity is being involved in an intimate and loving relationship. It is true across...

READ MORE

The Game of Love

It is said that the game of love is everyone’s favorite game, and yet even with all the new technologies designed to help us connect, more and more people are opting out of the game, preferring to live alone, rather than to risk another bad relationship outcome. This preference reflects a deep change in our collective human psyche, for it used to be that what lovers feared most was loneliness....
READ MORE

Lovingly Annoying

Here’s the thing about loving people: They are annoying. I tell people this regularly and they laugh, sometimes a nervous laugh, but more often a knowing laugh. We laugh together out of relief too, it’s not just you, or me, but lets face it, collectively we are all pretty annoying. A recent study of thousands of couples sited the most frequent cause of breakups and divorces were rarely about big...

READ MORE

Habits of Love

“Love and intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well, what causes sadness and what brings happiness, what makes us suffer and what leads to healing…I am not aware of any other factor in medicine- not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery- that has a greater impact on our quality of life, incidence of illness and premature death...

READ MORE

Wired to Connect

Sustainable love, the kind that we use as a compass to keep us connected to a vital, healthy and happy relationships are now being recognized as skills that might just save our species.

We finally have the scientific equipment to verify what we have always known: our drive to be social, to be connected to each other, is actually hardwired. Our need for connection and drive towards empathy is not a...

READ MORE

Venus Favors the Bold

Ovidmade this statement about the boldness of love thousands of years ago. I would say that it has never been more true or necessary. Let this year’s celebration of love be a bold statement of love, beginning with yourself. Start by feeling worthy of your own love. Give yourself a break and trust your instincts. Watch your favorite romantic comedy and laugh out loud or cry when the mood strikes...

READ MORE

Greenhouse Effect on Love

The earth’s atmosphere is stabilized by a very thin ozone layer which keeps temperatures on the planet in check. If you haven’t already seen Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth, I urge you to do so. It crystallizes the fact that the fragility of our atmospheric conditions requires a renewed commitment to a sustainable way of living. It has changed how I think about what really matters on a daily...

READ MORE

A Conversation Without Words

I have many friends who not only rarely sleep with their husbands, they can’t even talk about it. I would go even further and suggest that most of their conversations probably move them further away from intimacy than towards it. Connecting with our verbal language has it’s limits- especially since men and women, don’t just speak differently, we also hear differently. This is why I urge all of my...

READ MORE