Ovid made this statement about the boldness of love thousands of years ago. I would say that it has never been more true or necessary. Let this year’s celebration of love be a bold statement of love, beginning with yourself. Start by feeling worthy of your own love. Give yourself a break and trust your instincts. Watch your favorite romantic comedy and laugh out loud or cry when the mood strikes you. Allowing our emotions to exist in the world is a profoundly loving act that opens life up to new possibilities.
If you’re lucky enough to be loving someone else this Valentine’s Day- celebrate your gratitude not just with store bought gifts, although a small measure of those is always nice. Take time to write a list of all of the remarkable qualities that your relationship brings to your life. Don’t expect that your partner should know. Even if they do, seeing it in your handwritten prose makes those thoughts real in a way that you can hold. Just so you know, money is not the issue here, a single rose or chocolate heart can speak volumes with a well written note.
If at all possible, pull out all the stops and actually invite someone into a candle-lit physical conversation. Change the sheets, rub each other with sweet smelling oils and feel the transformative gift of human touch soften the tension in your muscles as well as some of the hard edges that live between you. Breathe together and feel the weight of arms holding you, the warmth of bodies touching.
If you are living among the lucky few of us who have an arousal function in working order, be bold and try it out. Allow desire to course through you and wonder at the chemistry that exists, so often out of sight, but usually close enough that it can surprise us with both its sudden availability and intensity. The power of sharing sexual arousal and climax is unparalleled in this life. It heals our physical body, our emotional connections and transforms our deep sense of connectedness to both our loved one and life itself.
“I tell you, the more I think, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.” -Vincent Van Gogh said this hundreds of years ago. Think of his bold acts of love, almost every painting a testimony to his witness of love in nature and among couples. How desperate was his love at the moment he cut off his own ear. We all share a little bit of that larger than life desperation about having a fulfilled love life. There is nothing more satisfying in life than feeling loved, nothing that makes us more courageous, more generous, more fully alive or able to express our deepest selves.
So whatever your relationship situation this Valentines Day, approach it with boldness and give it all the love that you have. It will come back to you as it comes through you.
Have a sweet Valentines Day.