The V-Word

‘Pleasure is the object, duty and the goal of all rational creatures.’ -Voltaire

There is a lot that we never learned about our own sexual anatomy growing up. In fact, the anatomical facts of nature have been seriously updated. All of this talk of G spots and female ejaculation has inspired a second look. Who knew that the clitoris is not just a magic button crowning the vagina, but was proclaimed...

‘An inordinate passion for pleasure is the secret of remaining young.” -Oscar Wilde

One of my best memories of the recent sex therapy conference that I recently attended was when I met the 84 year old grandmother of one of the PhD students attending the conference. Actually, she was accompanied by both her mom and sister too and the whole family was being interviewed about the ‘hottest thing’ they...

There is an indescribable, yet palpable reality of sexual intimacy wherein the ecstatic release of deep pleasure balances and ignites an equal experience of pain. Loving someone emotionally creates the same pain/pleasure experience as making love to them does.

‘A man doesn’t learn to understand anything unless he loves it.’ Goethe

There is a guy banging his head against a brick wall. When asked why he is banging his head against the brick wall, he pauses and says because ‘it feels so good when I stop.’ It is a...

The scent of desire, it turns out has more to do with our biological imperative than we might have ever imagined.   That magical x factor in seeking and connecting to your special someone is actually right under your nose- or at least in it.   Author Rachel Herz’s new book The Scent of Desirewill be the first of many volumes on the often overlooked olfactory system that will forever change how we...

It all started with a bottle of love oil… This summer marks the fifth anniversary of my discovery of love oil. For years since the birth of my third and fourth children, I had been looking for some kind of product to bring the pleasure back into my intimate experiences.

Then almost like a prayer answered, I found a random bottle of love oil being clearanced at a small shop in town. I had my first...

I once read an analogy of human connection which described successful intimate bonds in terms of moisture. In this description they discussed how when your heart feels dry and brittle it is hard for it to bond to anyone else. Moisture happens in our heart when we allow ourselves to feel.

Certainly this metaphor can be extended without much imagination to the intimacy problems that exist for so...

Technology of OrgasmI have been studying the vibrator through history this weekend. A friend of a friend gave me the DVD she has been working on called “Passion and Power- The Technology of Orgasm”. A historian, Dr. Rachel Maines uncovered ads in old catalogs and magazines featuring the origins of this electrical appliance that beat out the iron and the electric skillet by ten years. Sears and Roebuck catalog featured them for some 40 years or more. Some had attachments for butter churning- talk about all-purpose. It wasn’t until the late 1920’s that the social camouflage was blown on these handy household devices when they began appearing in early pornography or blue movies as they were called.