“A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition.” -Claire Whiting
Kissing is not only an important art form in intimacy, but also and more importantly a form of conversation. It can act like a comma, an exclamation or a question mark, but rarely is it as misunderstood as our spoken language. What we tell our partners with our kisses, their frequency, their depth, their vulnerability is irrefutable.
The roots of kissing are traceable to our earliest human survival and a mother’s love. Long before baby food, mothers would chew food and pass it from mouth to mouth to their baby. In addition, Early human kisses evolved from our sensitivity and reliance on scent; the romantic kiss evolving from close inhalation between would be partners. Shelley wrote “Soul meets soul on lover’s lips.” a belief that was supported by some early writings which said that when people kiss, they exchange their souls. It was believed that it is between the mouths and the tongues that the soul is exchanged.
It is not hard to see how humans came to see the kiss as a deep and profound act and exchange. A real kiss asks a lot from you. Many people today believe that kissing is more intimate than intercourse. Perhaps that is partly because a kiss is unique like a signature and even among the most talented kissers, a passionate embrace is hard to fake.
This is not to say that kissing technique does not have a legitimate learning curve not unlike learning to dance. Finding the balance of lips and tongue, when and how they interact is an important facet of learning to partner. And yet as trust and intimacy grows, the language of the kiss becomes more intuitive and, well, soulful. Whole conversations that sometimes do not find words are expressed in long kissing exchanges. Margaret Mitchell said it well when she said “Her lips on his could tell him better than all her stumbling words.”
So remember the kiss, pay homage to it and use it as the true resource for love that it is. Perhaps my favorite quote by Ingrid Bergman says it best – ” A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.” Sometimes it really is better to stop talking with words and let our soul speak for us through our kisses.