The V-Word

“What we learn with pleasure we never forget.” Alfred Mercier

In our culture, so focused on instant gratification, it is easy to lose sight of what creates a long-lasting and deeply healing experience of pleasure. While instant gratification does feed our brains with a dopamine response, making us constantly want more, the deep experience of true pleasure resets the chemical balances in the brain and body towards centeredness. Sadly, many of the things we use to get instant satisfaction, whether drugs, alcohol or food can be harmful on repeat—but true pleasure does not cause harm. More profoundly, real pleasure is an act of forgiveness both internally and in our relationships—it heals the past in the present, releasing us into a new way of seeing ourselves and the potential in our life.

The arousal response is your body’s natural mechanism for accessing pleasure. Although often confused with the genital swelling that accompanies our arousal response, the ignition for our arousal lives in the sexiest organ of our body—our brain. Specifically, in the limbic area of the brain, which processes memory and emotion and is conveniently co-located with our olfactory bulb, our sense of smell invigorates our emotional process, our access to memories, and our feeling of being turned on. Truly, your orgasmic potential begins with your ability to cultivate your arousal mechanism.

The ability to orgasm remains one of the most coveted and yet misunderstood human experiences. We often believe it is solely a genital experience, but our ability to climax reverberates throughout the body and initiates deep in the brain. Below is an easy-to-use guide that, with a unique blend of practice and letting go, will help move you from arousal to orgasm.

Sex toys are more popular than ever before. The sex toy industry is booming, with 60 million toys sold every year. In recent years, the variety and innovation in the sex toy industry have significantly increased. 

The scent of desire, it turns out, has more to do with our biological imperative than we might have ever imagined. That magical X factor in seeking and connecting to your special someone is actually right under your nose—or at least in it. Even though smell has long been promoted as our primary sexual sense, its influence extends to the very heart of our evolutionary journey.

They say kissing is the building block of romantic intimacy, but many of us have never thought seriously about the basics of a good kiss. In part, this is because kissing – just like love – seems as if it should be more gut instinct and in-the-moment than something we practice with a checklist. But a better way to think about kissing is to compare it to a meaningful conversation. A kiss with your partner communicates in ways that words can’t. And we can always use more tips on how to communicate better!

Struggling with low libido, as one-third of women do at some point in their lives, can make you feel left out and down on yourself. While low libido is often associated with middle age and menopause, there are actually a variety of reasons that women suffer from it, including normal hormonal changes, stress, anxiety, relationship issues, certain medicines and contraceptives, and a history of trauma. (It’s important to remember that “low” just means lower than you want. If you are happy with your libido level, then there is nothing wrong with it.)

One of the key ways to access our inner sexual selves is through sensory exploration. We all know that touch is the primary sense we yearn for when sexually aroused, and it’s common practice to “set the mood” with sensual music or lighting when initiating sex. But what about taste and smell? The answer: flavor. 

Authentic sexual freedom means taking responsibility for our own sexual needs. It means moving beyond sexual anxiety and the erotic damage we may have experienced through our early mistakes and...

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” -Brene Brown, author and researcher Maybe you've heard of BDSM (bondage, dominance/discipline,...

“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.”  -Kenji Miyazawa The relationship between pain and pleasure in human sexuality is as profound as it is complex. It...