Good Clean Reads

Lubrication is one of the simplest and most effective ways to make intimacy more enjoyable. And even though our bodies naturally produce lubrication, it isn’t always enough. Hormonal changes, stress, medication, or simply wanting a little more glide are all good reasons to reach for lube!

Recently I watched Emily Nagoski’s Ted Talk “Unlocking the Door to Your Authentic Sexual Wellbeing.” Whether or not you believe you have such a metaphorical door to “unlock,” I highly recommend Emily’s talk — she’s funny, engaging, and supports her claims about sex with science.

At the start of her talk, Emily shares feedback she received from students in a 1000-level sexuality course she taught...

Today is President’s Day in the US, which means most of us are at work and post offices are closed — you can put off mailing your income taxes for another day. The holiday doesn’t give you a good excuse for putting off starting your taxes, but don’t panic: in this post we’re going to suggest that you relax. We’re also going to suggest a way of practicing relaxation that meditators have been using...

“So she thoroughly taught him that one cannot take pleasure without giving pleasure, and that every gesture, every caress, every touch, every glance, every last bit of the body has its secret, which brings happiness to the person who knows how to wake it…” -Herman Hesse

Here is the sad truth about sex in many long-term partnerships; it is either the glue that keeps the relationship strong or the...

I had this roommate once who was really into “hitting on girls.” We were recently out of college, and he hadn’t hit on girls much in college, but now we were young men living in Boston and he’d discovered that this was something he could do, hitting on girls. It became his project. He had a group of (male) friends who he would talk to about the best ways to hit on girls, and then they would go out...

“We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness.”  -Albert Schweitzer

I have been lonely in my marriage for decades. Yet to be fair, I have felt lonely for as long as I can remember. Like many people, I believed that getting married would be a cure for the pervasive sense of loneliness with which I grew up. It’s hard to know whether my loneliness is like other character traits,...

Last week we learned how to integrate spiritual practices into our relationship.

According to nearly all of the world’s major spiritual traditions, the ultimate attainment in life is to learn that we are all One. But, to most people on any normal day, what does that even mean? We all walk around with our own hurts, pains, joys and triumphs. As much as we’d like to join with others, we feel (and...

We write a lot about pleasure here at Making Love Sustainable. We write about how to find more joy in your life, and we especially write about love and sex, which are two of the greatest sources of pleasure available to people.

At least to most people. What if you weren’t able to experience pleasure? You’d do something that’s supposed to feel good, and — nothing. It could turn a lot of your life...

“And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.”  -T.S.  Eliot

Sexual boredom and the collateral damage of intimate isolation top the list when it comes to the cited explanations for cheating and relationship endings. Somehow sexual boredom often gets linked to sex positions, thinking if we change up how we do it, we would find the...