What Kind of Lube Should I Use?
Lubrication is one of the simplest and most effective ways to make intimacy more enjoyable. And even though our bodies naturally produce lubrication, it isn’t always enough. Hormonal changes, stress, medication, or simply wanting a little more glide are all good reasons to reach for lube!
Holding and Letting Go- Intimacy With Life’s Secret Ways
“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” -Havelock Ellis
Back in the early days of mothering my days were full of the small details of children. What they ate, when they slept, who they played with, what they watched… The mundane was everything and my sense of mastery and control often clashed with a claustrophobia from how small my life had become. Looking...
How we all perpetuate Rape Culture & what we can do to stop
In true late adopter fashion, I’ve finally jumped into watching “Game of Thrones” after, well, years of seeing headline after headline about the epic novel-turned-TV series. I got completely sucked in from the first episode. However, a curious thing happened while I watched some of the sex scenes — I noticed that I had completely turned off my ability to feel, because it was honestly too painful...
“Let Happiness Search for You”
The title of this post is from an essay by Sparrow, a poet. I love this essay because I think it captures so well how important small, private moments of joy are to our ability to be human. In my experience, searching for big happiness brings more disappointment than pleasure — those searches blind me to the small, beautiful things around me, like the flowers of muscari that are almost the same.
The Conversations Which Shape A Healthful Sexuality
"…the nearly $2 billion spent on abstinence only education over the past quarter-century may as well have been set on fire…” Peggy Orenstein
Sexual health is a conversation that has been subverted for far too long. The conversations that we avoid and push underground become tainted with our own darkness and the longer that they remain out of reach, the more distorted they become. Sexual hygiene...
Anal Sex, Oral Sex, and Long-Term Relationships
I visited a friend for a night recently, and as usual we talked about sex. She told me that she and her boyfriend, with whom she has been with monogamously for about a year, started having anal sex after she brought up trying it — she had accidentally seen a butt plug in her roommate’s bedroom, and she had become fascinated by it. My friend wondered whether the butt plug was her roommate’s or her...
What Do You Need to be Happy?
Maybe you think you need a vacation. Maybe you think you need certain kinds of food, or a certain amount of sleep, or certain clothes, or certain makeup, or certain books or friends or likes. Maybe you think you need a better cell phone or job or spouse in order to be happy.
Actually, there are just two things, beyond the necessities, that you need in order to be happy: you need patience, and you...
Oral Sex Tips: Improve Techniques & Enjoyment Safely
The Evolutionary Science and Art of the Kiss
“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.”- Ingrid Bergman
Kissing is the cornerstone of the intimate dance. Fail at the kiss and whatever potential spark of romance may have existed evaporates in an instant. And while the passion and intention that we bring to the kiss is our most immediate communication device, which as Bergman notes makes our...
Living Alone vs. Living With Ourselves
Love is scary.
There, I said what we’ve all been thinking. Sometimes, love is so scary that it’s easier to choose not to have it. Padded behind layers and layers of emotional armor, we defend our choice of not investing in love with myriad excuses — I’m too busy for a partner, I like being single, I’ve looked, I swear, but I can’t find anyone I’d want to be with…
Recently, I was at a documentary...