The V-Word

It is not surprising that submission and domination themes are among the most common personal fantasy content, or that a huge percentage of pornography depicts issues of power in relationships. This same dynamic is at play during illicit affairs- the thrill of being overcome by our sexual desire allows us to engage in sexual play that goes beyond our imagination. It feels natural to do the most outrageous sex acts when we give up our control. Ironically, this need to be out of control sexually in order to get lost in our own erotic passions prevents many couples from scheduling lovemaking time.

Loving acts change us only when we are able to witness and receive them. In contrast, when we don't actively perceive and accept the loving intentions of those around us, they lose their potency quickly and can even lead to conflict. It is more common than not for people to miss loving acts completely because their powerful filters of what they expect love to look and feel like dismiss loving acts completely.

“The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”  -Carlos Castenada

Really great sex happens outside of ordinary reality. It creates a non-ordinary reality beyond the language of everyday life and outside of the conceptual framework in which we order those days. Fitting our sexuality into our ordinary reality...

There is something magical and unique about the felt experience of gratitude.  I have come to believe that  it is as close as we get in our daily lives to an ecstatic connection to the divine. Experiencing the goodness surrounding us viscerally with the practice of feeling gratitude awakens and opens our heart, while simultaneously creating the lightness of joy.

For many years, in fact for most of...

“Believing you have enough is the beginning of having enough.”

Every day in the in-between space of sleeping and waking, I repeat to myself, “I have enough money, resources and people to achieve my and Good Clean Love’s fullest potential.” I don’t start repeating this until I have awoken with a deep sense of gratitude about my life. I start with the easy and obvious – like feeling grateful for...

It was the Celtic civilization that first celebrated the magical time of year that is Halloween. They considered this time, the Samhain, as the most significant turning point of the year, when things change most deeply, when connections to the dead open up… The souls that have gone through the ultimate turning from life to death. They believed that this was the time of year that the world of the...

“If you wish for light, be ready to receive light.”  -Rumi

Years ago, when I had just begun this journey of creating the life I had longed for, a teacher gave me this affirmation, which I have been holding ever since- “I am a joyful, grateful, excellent receiver.” At the beginning, I remember how awkward the words felt in my throat, how foreign the idea of being an active receiver was to me....

“Self trust is the first secret of success.”  -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Trusting what you know is the bedrock of befriending yourself.  Choosing the beliefs that ground you to your life is everything. Today, on my 53^rd birthday, as I consider what I know for sure…

“All other love is extinguished by self-love; beneficence, humanity, justice, philosophy, sink under it.”  -Epicurus

I am not sure why I started with the most difficult of all affirmations to begin my book, and surely I am among many who read the words: “I love myself,” but can’t quite feel them.