Dear A,
My boyfriend masturbates all the time, even when we have sex regularly. Is that okay?
Signed,
Worried Girlfriend
Dear Worried,
Your boyfriend’s drive to masturbate frequently, added to the sex you’re having regularly, is actually a GOOD thing. A large-scale scientific study just recently released out of The National Cancer Institute followed 30,000 men for 8 years and discovered that when men ejaculate more frequently, their risk of prostate cancer is significantly reduced.
According to this study, which backs up a 2003 Australian study citing masturbation as good for men, 21 seems to be the magic number — men who ejaculated an average of 21 times per month cut their risk of prostate cancer by a THIRD!
In case you didn’t know, prostate cancer is the most common cancer affecting men in the United States (after skin cancer). In fact, 1 in 7 men will be affected by this horrible disease. Though prostate cancer is fairly easily curable if caught in the early stages, it becomes less curable as men get older and the disease advances. Knowing that frequent ejaculation (through masturbation) can help him cut down his risk of prostate cancer can help put things into a different perspective.
Various couples’ weekly sex averages anywhere between 0-3 times/week. Some couples only have sex once a month. While it doesn’t sound like you’re one of those couples, think about how many times you’d have to be having sex a month in order to help him hit that magic 21?! Between work, school, and other commitments, having sex 4-5 times a week can be hard for any couple, not to mention that a new study claims that more sex does not always necessarily make everyone happier.
We all saw how Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s masturbatory habits in Don Jon caused him to have unrealistic expectations about real-life women and sex. If, similarly, your boyfriend’s masturbatory habits are not easily replicable in the bedroom, if he’s losing an erection easily or simply is not turned on by anything you do, then I would seek help from a sex therapist. However, if he’s still excited to be with you and your sex life is still rocking, then I wouldn’t be worried.
Most men masturbate in a healthy way — as a way to relieve stress, clear their heads, or, get this, be able to last longer for you in bed. If you’re still feeling left out, talk to him about it, or better yet, join in the fun!
Set a mutual masturbation date and you’ll find you learn a lot about what each of you likes and what turns you both on. Not only that, but mutual masturbation allows for continued growth in the sexual part of your relationship and also offers a way to spice up the usual bedroom routine. Have fun!
