Learning how to love is a complex set of equations. Knowing how to love is no more an inborn skill than being able to compute algebraic equations. Physical loving turns these basic math facts into the complex calculations which is the glue of the physical universe.
Seen in this light, masturbation is like learning your math fundamentals. Our physical and sexual anatomy is at once universal and unique. Gaining an understanding of how our own sexual organs function and discovering reliable pathways to pleasure are prerequisite for any possibility of paired enjoyment.
Of all the sexual acts on the planet, masturbation leads the way as not only the most commonly practiced and safest, but also one that is most frequently and reliably associated with the magical release of orgasm. This isn’t terribly surprising when you consider who would know better than you, the mysterious pathway to climax. This is why sex educators the world over call masturbation the cornerstone to all other sexual acts, because the more attention you give to your own sexual response the more competent you become sexually in partnered relationships. And yet, there are other benefits of masturbation both personally and for your relationship that are often overlooked… so here is my short list of the many ways that masturbation can make life better.
4 Reasons to Do It More Often
Most people don’t relate sexual satisfaction with pain relief, which is a shame. It turns out that the cascade of hormonal triggers occur during orgasmic release and these help everything from sore joints and menstrual cramps to headaches. Although the jury is out when it comes to migraines, some studies showing it relieves and for others that it increases pain.
We definitely think it is worth a test run to see how a little self loving might recalibrate your pain threshold.
Stress Reduction and Sleep Aid
Stress keeping you up at night? One of the most potent remedies for both the stress and insomnia is literally right in your hands. A study released in 2000 showed 32% of women found masturbating helped them fall asleep.
Like with pain relief, the oxytocin and endorphins that are released with orgasm invite a restful state - and better dreams too. Taking time to fall into your own private fantasy life is a great de-stressor and also contributes to you becoming a better lover.
Most of us don’t recognize the multiple benefits that competent self love can bring to our partnered loving. The more familiar we become manipulating our own sexual organs, the easier this translates into all kinds of fantastical mutual masturbating techniques.
Blurring the lines between who is touching who in any number of intriguing positions is a literal playground for a fantasy life that wants to expand.
And taking turns with sex toys, hands, or other body parts all gets way less cumbersome when you're more comfortable and knowledgeable about your own sexual response.
The more comfortable and exploratory you become with mutual masturbation, the more that it becomes a doorway into a fantasy life that will ignite your sexual desire like nothing else. Adding eye contact and verbal cues turns intimacy into something indescribably intense and immediate. Sharing even glimpses of your fantasy world in these fiery moments of mutual stimulation and letting your partner know what you want to do - well, try it and see if it isn’t explosive.
Our hands are the most perfectly designed instruments to play our bodies. Singing with pleasure will make you feel better in every way. What is not to love?