by Wendy Strgar January 10, 2010
Now that I have managed to really listen to the words I am saying, the next logical step is to listen one step back to the thoughts. Not saying the negative thing is an improvement, not a small task, but getting to the thoughts is really the foundation of the change. I still have a lot of negative thoughts that I am not saying, yet surprisingly I am also having more room for positive thoughts.
My eldest son was born eighteen years ago tomorrow. He and I are more challengingly similar that the differences between us might seem, at first glance. We have worked diligently to live together. In these last teen years, our conflicts have been dramatic at points and have impacted the other relationships in the family. Since I began the Quest 10 days ago, I have been forced to see how much negativity I associate to my relating with him. I realized too, that as he prepares to graduate from high school, I want to make a fresh start with him. I want to release him from all the things that I have imagined I have known about him since he was tiny and let him surprise me with who he becomes.
We all want a fresh start in life. We want other people, especially the ones who love and know us to see what is best in us. We want to be able to do that for the people we know and love. This feeling that is a cousin to, if not a brother, of forgiveness is what the eastern mystics think of as letting people be as they are. It is a fresh place where judgment does not filter our vision entirely and we can see people clearly.
Relating is an action verb that requires agility, flexibility and creativity. The daily practice can enhance or diminish the feeling of positivity in your life. Choose your intent and then work to achieve it. You will be surprised how available a fresh start is- it can even be daily.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018
by Wendy Strgar April 26, 2018