by Wendy Strgar October 13, 2010
It isn’t only in the midst of family emergencies that the kindness of others makes such a big difference in life. This is often the time we think of going out of our way for someone else, where we offer, “Anything I can do” and mean it. Knowing you have people at your back, being the recipient of small gestures can make all the difference in the midst of crisis.
But it is not only during our challenges that kindness makes a real difference. The absence of kindness throughout childhood development is a growing crisis in this country as our children are taking the crass humor of popular culture to heart. The prevalence of bullying in the youngest grades is baffling even long time teachers. Most disturbing is how parents of these aggressive children often support these dominant behaviors and value popularity over kindness.
Lao Tzu wrote, “Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” These are the lessons that our society most needs to cultivate during this time of loss and upheaval. Gone are the days of opulence and greed; our cultural icons have to care about more than just themselves. Civility and community have to be reconstructed back into a culture that is often reflected in sarcastic and divisive humor that alienates for the sake of a laugh.
At a time when most school districts in this country are trying to figure out how to keep their doors open 5 days a week, focusing our collective attention on rebuilding the stature of kindness might be the only behavior we can really afford. The truth is that we need each other more than ever in these uncertain times. At every encounter with strangers and friends alike, pause and see if you witness an opportunity for kindness. If you do, which I suspect you will; practice it even briefly and see how you feel.
It might be the most powerful act of positivity that we can demonstrate in a day.
by Wendy Strgar May 22, 2018
There is no time like long summer nights to cultivate our uniquely, profoundly human capacity for pleasure, especially sexual pleasure. Our pleasure response transforms our relationship to each other and even to life itself. Focusing on pleasure not only changes how we see our opportunities for intimate connection, but also invites us into a deeper relationship with our erotic soul.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018