by Wendy Strgar November 25, 2010
There are some 25 million people in transit as I write this; on their way home to someone. It is one of the busiest travel days of the year: millions of people spending millions of dollars to be close to others that they love, that have shaped their lives, that taught them something about relatives.
I remember many years when the idea of going home was a painful and lonely experience. Even now, my family reunions are few and far between, not just for the physical distance, but even more for all the sadness carried forward from the past. Making a home, a place that I belonged to and that belonged to me was always the biggest dream for me.
Tonight, all my kids are home again and the grown-up dynamics of our full house make me smile deeply. I have loved these people for such a long time, that loving them has made me who I am. The most tender moments of my life have almost always been in coming home.
Coming close to devastating loss as I did with my son this fall, makes this time together even more tender. The truth is that our lives are, as Rilke says – a testament to the perpetual departure that defines us. This is the golden kernel to hang onto in going back to family. As challenging as revisited family dynamics can be, remember that gratitude is one way to access memories of the heart – and to make them, too.
The best and most worthwhile coming home of all is to oneself. This coming home happens when you realize that what means the most to us is the front door. The tested values, the ones that you are willing to sacrifice for, are a clear path home.
by Wendy Strgar May 22, 2018
There is no time like long summer nights to cultivate our uniquely, profoundly human capacity for pleasure, especially sexual pleasure. Our pleasure response transforms our relationship to each other and even to life itself. Focusing on pleasure not only changes how we see our opportunities for intimate connection, but also invites us into a deeper relationship with our erotic soul.
by Wendy Strgar May 17, 2018
It becomes hard to trust your own thinking when nothing seems to be working. The space between how I thought it would go and how it is going seems to widen in front of my eyes. Maybe most difficult of all is how often the undesirable outcomes around us spill over into our relationships, both at home and at work. An errant comment too easily turns into an argument. I become blind to my impact on people around me, caught up in the unresolved problems surrounding me. During times like these, we often underestimate the power of the choices we make and how it can create a path back towards what’s working or down the slippery slope of self-destruction, which my husband affectionately calls “flirting with the gutter.”
Here is my short list to making it better when it isn’t working at all. Each one helps you do the next one, so start at the beginning and work your way down.
by Wendy Strgar May 03, 2018